The Devil's Tears
by clareabell7
Summary: Our story is one that has yet to be told, and is worth telling. So, dear reader. Let me begin on that faithful day, November 6th, 1964. The day I met the girl who changed my life forever. Prequel to the 'To Begin Again' series. Prior reading not nessisary :D.
1. Prologue: I Will Remember You

_Weep not for the memories. _

_ -I Will Remember You by Sarah McLachlan. _

Mondays are always the hardest for me. Of course, waking up is always hard, but it's the worst on Mondays. Every day it's the same routine. I find myself reaching over to the empty spot, her spot. I pat her pillow, still fresh with her sent.

Every morning I have to confirm that I am, indeed, alone. I looked over to her side of the bed. Aloneness, confirmed. After all of these years, I still have not gotten used to that empty spot. Sighing, I get up, slip on my robe and place a soft kiss to her picture on my nightstand.

"Good morning, love." She smiled back up at me, waving. I shake my head and begin my day. Another Monday. Mondays are the least merciful day of my week. Offering no comfort or distraction. It's just the start of another week. Another long, lonely week. One more week without her.

As I descend the staircase, I stop to take a breath on the fourth step. "Good lord I'm getting old." I say to myself. "Or just out of shape…" I look down at my hands. "No, no I'm definitely old." Shaking my head, I continue tromping down the steps.

"Into the kitchen we go." I say feigning excitement. I had picked up the despicable habit of talking to myself. I guess that's what happens when you're alone or when you're old. I'm both so I guess it was bound to happen. Whether it is due to my solitude or my age, I talk to myself. Though, I must admit, I'm pretty shabby company.

"What are we going to have today, Lucius?" I open the pantry. Bran flakes, bran flakes, and more bran flakes. "Bran flakes it is. Aren't we an adventurous little bugger?" I sneer at myself.

After all of these years I'm still following that absurd diet plan Cissa put me on. I look across the table to her chair. "You're very proud of yourself aren't you?" No answer. "Oh, I bet you are…I bet you are." I chuckle softly, then smile, then frown, and then continue munching.

Breakfast is over. Time for the walk in the garden. Looking out the window, the sun is barley shining, the birds quiet. "Maybe we can skip that today, Lucius…You'll find some other way to entertain yourself." Sighing, I walk into the library.

"Maybe some music…" I turn on the radio Deidre got me for Christmas. Maybe it will brighten up this dreary Monday.

"BWABOAHBOABWAHHHH! B-B-BANGARANG! YEAHHHHHH! PLAY! BWAHHHHHBWAHHBWAHHH! BANGARANG!" I fell backwards against the wall, clutching my heart. Quickly, I shut it off.

"What the bloody hell was that noise?" I shout as I turn over the album. Skrillex it said. "Must be one of Scoprius' bands." Grumbling, I take a seat. Maybe I'll read something. I look the stand next to me. Sitting on top of it was a grand, leather bound book.

"Huh. Never seen that before." Hesitantly, I open the front cover. There was a small note written on the inside. Gently, I cradle the book in my lap.

_Irina found this a while back. I thought it might get you through those Mondays. _

_Love,_

_Draco._

I smiled. "Such a good boy." Closing the book I inspect the front cover for a title. Written in, gold, elegant script was the word _"Memories_". By the look of the hand writing, this book was Cissas'. With shaking hands I open to the first page. There was a small picture of a young Narcissa, no older than five, my young self, and our French teacher, Madame Monet.

"_November 6, 1964. French Lessons."_, was scrawled at the bottom of the page. I smile. This was, indeed, a great distraction. I find myself relaxing into the chair as I remember my Cissa. She was still alive, so alive in my memories and in my heart. As I reminisced, an idea suddenly popped into my head. Taking a quill and a piece of parchment, I settle myself at the desk and begin to write.

_Our story is one that has yet to be told, and is worth telling. So, dear reader. Let me begin on that faithful day, November 6__th__, 1964. The day I met the girl who changed my life forever. _

_BWAH! And so it begins. Just in case you haven't read 'To Begin Again.' Or 'If You Want to Date My Daughter.' Deidre is the Malfoy's daughter, the wild child. She's a singer and has a daughter of her own named Josette. Draco's wife is named Irina and she was the one who found Narcissa's memory book in 'If You Want to Date My Daughter'. I don't know if they'll pop into the story later on or not. Ai originally planned this all to be in the past but I might go back into the present once in a while. It all depends. Tell me what you think! I think most of this will be from Lucius' perspective but…I like different perspective so, we'll just have to see! If you have a preference let me know! This is a prequel to both 'To Begin Again.' And 'If You Want to Date My Daughter.' It'll be Lucissa centric and go from their Hogwarts days and stop…I don't know when. Haha! I'm still figuring that out! I am going to try andupdate this story once a week but school is starting soon and I don't know if I'll have the time. Well, thanks for reading! PLEASE REVIEW! P.s The song that scared Lucius on the radio was Bangarang by Skrillex XD. TTFN, bros! -


	2. French Lessons

_You can't choose who you fall in love with, it just happens. Whether your parents like them or not._

Josette Marie Malfoy was both Irish and French, a very strange combination to say the least. She had the Irish harshness and the French poise, the Irish accent and French manner. She could snap with some sarcastic comment and make it seem as polite and demure as possible. Her fiery red hair stood out in the sea of blonde but her cold grey eyes held the Malfoy authority. She was the perfect blend of fire and ice, capable of being snobbish, cold and hard and at the same time she could be warm, coarse and inviting. Josette Marie Malfoy was the opposite woman and the best mother in the world.

It was her idea to put me into French lessons. I couldn't understand why. For, she never spoke French, father never spoke French. Why did I have to learn French?

"Mother, why do I have to learn French? Can't I just speak like you do?" I asked. She ruffled my hair and chuckled.

"You're right past learnin' to speak like me, child. You've got your father's dreadful pooh-pooh accent, I'm afraid."

"Pooh-pooh?"

"Aye, pooh-pooh. Just like the rest of yer father's family. All 'Dahling!' and 'Oh, I do declare!'" She waltzed about the room, imitating my aunts and uncles. Or, as she called it, pooh- poohing about. I laughed and watched. This was the side of my mother I loved. The fiery side, the real side.

My father leaned against the door and watched her. "Pooh-poohing again, are we?" He chuckled.

She turned around, dramatically. "But of course, dahling!" She began to snort and giggle, until she was out of control.

Father rolled his eyes, trying his best not to laugh. "You're a mad woman, Josie." He shook his head.

She collapsed onto the couch and pulled me onto her lap. "Och, aye. I'm mad. But yer stuck with me, I'm afraid."

Father smiled, his cold eyes warming. "Poor me."

Mother smiled too. "Aye, poor you."

They stayed like that for a long time, just gazing at each other. She was my father's world, the only one who could bring out the best in him. I had never seen him look at another human being the way he looked at my mother. Late at night, I would sneak out of bed and onto the balcony outside my window. I would look at the stars and wonder, would I ever find someone to look at me that way? Would I ever find someone like my mother? Someone to bring out the best in me?

Mother shook her head. "Ah! Is that the time? Come on Lucy, pick up yer feet!"

I quickly jumped of the couch and grabbed hold of my mother's hand. Father smiled and patted my head.

"You two have fun. And Josie, do stay out of trouble." He raised an eyebrow and cast my mother a stern look.

"Och, stop your cryin' Abraxas! I'm perfectly able to stand up for myself." She rolled her eyes as she put on her gloves.

Father sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "That's what I'm afraid of…All I'm saying is don't lose your temper…"

Mother's head snapped up and she glared at my father. "You watch yer mouth now."

Father sighed, defeated. "Alright, Josie. Alright."

Mother smiled and gave him a quick peck on the cheek. She turned to me. "All ready then?"

"Yes, mother." I smiled.

She nodded, squeezed my hand and we aparated away.

I was never allowed to look at people on the street. My mother would tell me, "Don't look back. Hold yer head high. They're below us, ignore them." So, I did as she told me to. It was always strange, seeing people on the street. Not many people looked like mother or father, or anyone I knew. They wore strange clothes, and had strange devices in their shops. I never understood what was so bad about them, it was just that they were below me and I wasn't supposed to look at them. They had a name, the people on the street. Muggles, mother had called them. Father made it clear that he didn't like muggles.

When I asked why mother had said, "They're different, that's why." I didn't understand how they were different. They just were. I wish now that my parents had different views, that they weren't the way they were. Maybe things would have been better for me. I guess it's easy for me to blame them for the things I did, the choices I made. It's easier to spread the blame then just take it. But I'm getting ahead of myself.

Once we got to the wizarding part of town we came upon a grand old Victorian house. I looked up at my mother.

"Is this the place, mother?"

She looked down and smiled at me. "Aye, this is the place."

A tall, dark woman came out to greet us, a warm and welcoming air about her. "Ah! Madame Malfoy! It iz a pleazure to see you again!" She spoke with a heavy French accent.

Mother smiled. "Likewise." She put a gentle hand on my shoulder. "This is my son, Lucius." She nudged me forward. "Go on, say hello."

The woman knelt down to my height and shook my hand. "It iz a pleazure to meet you Lucius, I'm Madame Monet." Her chocolate eyes warmed as she smiled.

"Hallu." I smiled back. I quite liked this woman.

She stood back up to face my mother. "I can assure you he's in good hands here! The lesson should be over by three, will you be picking him up?"

Mother nodded. "Yes, how much for this lesson?"

"Twelve galleons."

Mother handed over the money and looked back down to me. "You be a good boy, mind yer manners. Ken?"

"Yes, mother." I said. Mother smiled politely and bid us farewell.

Madame Monet turned to face me. "Come along. We need to get started!" I took her hand as she led me into the house. It was not as grand as Malfoy Manor, well; nothing's as grand as Malfoy Manor. It was cozy, with a large library that seemed to go on for miles. It smelled of old books and coffee.

"How old are you, Lucius?" Madame Monet asked.

"Seven."

"Ah! Zat iz prime time to learn a new language!" She sat me down at a table in the middle of the library.

"Tell me, why did you choose..." She stopped mid-sentence and looked over my head. "Narcissa dear! Your mother iz not here yet?" I looked behind me. There was a young girl, no older then I, standing by the door. She looked at me with round blue eyes the color of the sky on a warm spring day. I felt my throat begin to tighten.

"No, Madame." Her voice was quiet and sweet, though with a hint of sadness. She tilted her head, looking at me again. "Who is he?"

"Thiz iz Lucius, he'z taking lessonz az well." She smiled. "Well, I guess we can get started. Narcissa, come and sit! You can help Lucius along!"

Narcissa smiled at Madame Monet and sat next to me, she smelled of vanilla. As Madame Monet babbled about verbs and words and whatever else comes along with a language, I began to like French lessons. Madame Monet was wonderful, learning the new language was fun, not to mention Narcissa was here.

"How about you two work on that assignment on your own a bit, Narcissa help Lucius." Madame Monet left the room muttering something about irresponsible parents being three hours late.

As we worked I finally plucked up the courage to talk to Narcissa. "How long have you been taking lessons?"

She didn't look up from her work, her long platinum hair covering her face. "For a year."

There was a long silence. "How come your mother's late?"

Narcissa stopped writing. "She forgets about me sometimes. A lot of people do." The last part she whispered.

I wondered how anyone would forget about her, I knew I wouldn't. "I won't forget about you." She looked up from her work and smiled at me. And that was how our friendship was born.

We spent the next hour reading and talking while Madame Monet watched us from behind her desk. Narcissa got down a book of French phrases. As I was looking through, one phrase caught my eye.

_French: Car Je suis dingue de toi, belle demoiselle._

_English: I'm so crazy about you, beautiful woman._

I smirked and looked over to Narcissa. "Car Je suis dingue de toi, belle demoiselle!" She glared at me as I laughed at her obvious embarrassment.

"Fermez la bouche gross pamplemousse!" she shoved me lightly and started to snigger.

"What's that mean?" I had the feeling that it was something awful.

"Look it up!" she was about to fall out of her chair.

I took the book and flipped through the pages until I found it.

_French: Fermez la bouche gross pamplemousse!_

_English: Shut-up fat grapefruit!_

Before long I was laughing as hard as Narcissa. We just sat there, laughing at our private joke, both in our own little world.

"Narcissa." A sharp voice cut through the room like a knife. We both stopped and looked up. Narcissa stopped smiling immediately and looked down.

"Mother." Her voice was cold and monotone. She had changed in a matter of seconds, no longer the sweet or giggling girl, Narcissa had turned to ice.

"Look up at me. It is most unbecoming for a young lady to look down upon her elders." This woman was tall and slim, with dark curly hair and equally dark eyes. If I had known then what I know now, I would have never let Narcissa go home with that woman.

"Yes mother." Narcissa sat rigidly still, her chin held high.

"Get your things, go on make haste. We are late enough as it is." She waved Narcissa off.

Madame Monet walked up to Narcissa's mother, a scowl on her face. "How nice of you to arrive, Mrs. Black. Tell me, what iz your excuse this time?" She snapped.

"I merely lost track of time, Miss. Monet." Mrs. Black stated in a bored tone.

"You are nearly five hourz late!" Madame growled.

"You will not use that tone with me Miss. Monet. I am of higher class and deserve your allegiance."

"Thiz iz ze last time I will stand for this, Mrs. Black! She iz your child! How can you just simply forget about her?" Madame Monet was shouting now.

"What is goin' on here?" Mother entered the room, a concerned look on her face.

"Mrs. Malfoy." Mrs. Black sneered.

"Mrs. Black." Mother scowled at the dark haired woman. Narcissa entered the room again.

"Come, Narcissa." Mrs. Black barked. She grabbed Narcissa's hand and sent a cold glare towards my mother before turning to leave. Narcissa sent me a sad glance before she left the room with her mother.

Mother gave a curt nod to Madame Monet before we left as well. She walked fast, holding onto my hand tightly, not saying a word. Quickly, she aparated us home.

We stood in the foyer, silent. Mother sighed and looked down at me.

"I don't want you talkin' to that Narcissa Black. You hear me?"

"Why, mother?"

"Because I said so!" She snapped. I was taken aback. She hardly ever used that tone with me. My eyes filled with tears.

"Och…I'm sorry." She knelt down and brushed the tears off my cheeks. "Lucius, you'll learn that there are people in this world that are not our friends. Your father and Mr. Black used to be very good friends until Mr. Black did something very bad and…and…Just don't talk to her."

More tears rolled down my face. "But…She's my friend, mother."

"She's a Black. Yer not to be friends with a Black, yer father would never forgive you."

I sniffled. "Yes mother…"

She smiled and kissed the top of my head. "Good boy, now go on and clean up. Dinner should be ready soon."

I nodded and went up to my room, with full intentions of talking to Narcissa Black again. For, I had found someone who brought out the best in me and I wasn't about to let her go.

-I hope you liked this chapter! Thanks to LuciusNarcissa for reviewing! **PLEASE REVIEW**!-


	3. Custard

_When someone loves something you hate, you will stop at nothing to make them hate it to. Even if it makes them hate you in the process._

I continued to ignore my parent's plea, going behind their back and secretly communicating with Narcissa. This girl, a Black or not, was my best friend. I was not about to lose her. "_Malfoys do not have 'friends' they have collogues, associates, inferiors, and family. No friends." _My father had said. But, to an eleven year old boy, a friend is a necessity.

A friend was someone who would listen to you, be that shoulder to cry on, that friendly voice to laugh with. Narcissa was wonderful and I couldn't understand why they hated her so much. She wasn't a muggle or any other dirty type of thing…So why did they treat her as such?

I shook my head. There were, after all, more pleasant things to think about. At the end of this summer my dream was going to come true. Hogwarts, I was going to start Hogwarts, the most magical place on earth. Or so mother had said. I could hardly contain my excitement. But I did, for, Malfoys can't be excited.

There was a soft tap at the window. Looking up, I recognized the tan owl right away. Not even bothering to wipe the grin off my face, I walked over the fetch Narcissa's latest letter. It read as follows.

_Lucius,_

_I think it's wonderful that you are starting Hogwarts! I wish I could go but I'm quite sure that you will have a marvelous time without me. I'll be there in two years anyway! I do hope you make some new friends. After all, you can't just rely on me now, can you? You need blokes to hang about with. I wonder what the teachers are like. Oh, it's all just so exciting! _

_To answer your question, yes I am doing wonderful! Though, I did want to ask you about something. Has your mother ever talked to you about custard? I know it sounds like an odd question but, my mother mentioned it to me. _

_She said, "A good family is like good custard. I am the cook, carefully placing all of the ingredients exactly where they belong. You are not an ingredient in this custard, Narcissa." I'm not quite sure what this means. Has your mother ever told you something like that?_

_Anyways, I hope your family is well! Have fun at Hogwarts!_

_Much love,_

_Narcissa Black_

I shook my head. Custard? My mother had never told me about that. But if it came from Mrs. Black's mouth it must not have been a complement. She was a wretched woman. Narcissa rarely talked about her, or any of her family for that matter. As I learned later, she had good reason not to.

Despite her troubles, Narcissa was always happy in her letters. Even though she didn't have much to be happy about, she was able to find joy in any little thing. That was one of the things I loved about her, one of the things I still love about my Narcissa. I now know that she was hurting much more then she let on; but more of that later.

There was a tap at the door. "Lu? Might I come in?" My mother's voice rang. Quickly, I stuffed the letter in my trousers, trying desperately to shoo the owl away. "_She can't find out! She can't find out!" _My mind raced and my heart pumped, panic flooding every nerve in my body. Finally, the owl flew away and I plopped down onto my bed, trying to act as lazy as possible.

"Come in, mother." I sighed in relief, I was safe.

She gracefully entered my room and plopped down onto the bed. "You've been ignorin' us lately, Lu. Somthin' the matter?"

I shook my head. The panic was coming back.

She eyed me suspiciously. "I just can't shake the fealin' that you're hidin' somthin' from us…"

I shook my head again. "No, I'm just worried about school is all." I gulped.

She smiled and pulled me close. "Och, now. Not to worry. You'll make plenty friends." She patted my side. I cringed as I heard the crunch of parchment beneath her fingers. She stopped patting me and pulled the paper out. Her eyes hardened and her lips formed a straight line. Her voice was ice cold as she spoke.

"You ought not to have done that, Lucius. Get up."

Shaking, I stood. She grabbed me roughly by the color and dragged me to my father's study. I felt the tears trailing down my face.

My father sat at his desk. He smiled at us as we entered but caught my mother's eye as she set the letter in front of him. His eyes turned dark, his head shot up quickly, he glared at me.

"You disobeyed me, Lucius." His voice was deep and booming. I shuddered.

"I-I...I'm sorry."

"You will be silent." He boomed again.

"You have dishonored this family, Lucius." He paused to glare at me again. "Why you feel the need to talk to this filth, I have no idea. But it will come to an end! You are ruining yourself, talking to this Black girl! You are ruining your reputation! OUR reputation! This. Is. A. Disgrace!"

I couldn't hold my tongue any longer. "Why is it a disgrace, father? What's wrong with her?!" I was sobbing, something I had not done in seven years.

My father was quiet for a moment, breathing in and out heavily, trying to figure out what to say. He spoke. "Being friends with a Black is a terribly mistake, Lucius." His voice was still deep and filled with rage but there was a story on his tongue. "I made that mistake. Cygnus Black was a very close friend. He made a very poor choice and fell in love with a blood-traitor, having a bastard child with the filth." He spat out the last words, as if they were mud in his mouth. "It was a disgrace to our Wizarding race! He betrayed me…Our friendship, all that we believed in for that woman…" He was talking more to himself then me at this point. He closed his eyes. "I did what I believed to be right and told his family. The blood-traitor was disposed of and never heard from again. But not the child." His eyes opened, just as dark and furious as they were before. "That very child is the one you were speaking to."

My mother spoke. "She is a bastard child, Lucius. A disgrace. A disappointment. As are you if you continue this nonsense." She flung the letter into the fire. "You are never to speak to her again. Do I make myself clear?"

I nodded, all of the answers coming at me at once. My head felt light.

"Get up stairs and stay up there until we say otherwise." Mother snapped.

I quickly left the room, suddenly understanding what Mrs. Black had said. My parents had meant the same thing.

My parents were cooks, planning my whole life's recipe and Narcissa was not on the list of ingredients.

-Thank you SO much to all who reviewed, favorited, and followed! School stars in less than a week for me so updating will be a bit slower. I really hope you enjoyed this chapter! PLEASE REVIEW!-


	4. The Feared and the Envied

_Even the cruelest of men love something. Otherwise they wouldn't be men at all._

_Two Years Later _

People change. Of that I am sure. I changed a lot over those two years; some for the best and some for the worst. Well, mostly for the worst. I was a fool, I can admit that now. I was a pompous, arrogant, fool and not even Cissa could change me. I was set in my ways and stayed like that for a very long time. I made some very poor choices of which I am anything but proud. So here I must warn you, dear reader. Be prepared to hate me for the rest of this story. And try to remember. People change. Of that I am sure. I changed a lot over these years, this time for the better. I am truly sorry.

Without a friend, I developed the nasty habit of keeping things in. I bottled up my emotions until the bottles were full. I would cast them off to a quiet, private place deep in my heart; where Cissa was still my best friend and it was okay to cry. Eventually, the tears stopped coming and my heart lost all feeling, that quiet place had morphed into a prison where I did not just send away my emotions, I executed them. I locked my heart away, never to be seen again.

My tolerance for muggles and all other dirty things was all but gone. I had become just as hateful and cruel as any other pure-blood child. I went to Hogwarts and mercilessly bullied and tormented those I deemed to be of a lesser race. I was seeker of the Slytherin qudditch team, top of my class, and feared by all. Well, all accept the Blacks.

The Blacks were Hogwarts royalty. They were edgy, dark, and mysterious. Where I was feared, they were envied. The houses treated them as gods, even those in Gryffindor. For, they were gods all capable of great things, terrible but great. There was the eldest, Bellatrix, the dark and most feared of all the Blacks. She was a beautiful witch, cunning and cruel. Her silky black hair poured down her back, her dark eyes scanning the halls, searching for something to terrify or destroy.

There was Andromeda, the kindest of the Blacks. Her smiling, brown eyes and kind face lit up the room. Like Bella, she was beautiful. She used her wit and knowledge as her tools, to bring people to their knees. Her life did not revolve around other's misery like Bella's did. But she was capable of being just as cruel as her sister.

There was Regulus, the most charming. With charisma and a quick tongue, Regulus was all the rage for the ladies. All he had to do was flash a handsome smile and anyone would do his bidding. He was secretly cruel, hiding his true colors behind his handsome face and clever phrases. In his mind, he was the only thing that mattered, and that is a very cruel thing to think indeed.

Those were the Blacks, or those who had come to Hogwarts so far. It was the opening feast and the beginning of my third year at Hogwarts. I couldn't have cared less about the start of the New Year. Being around all of these blood traitors and mud-bloods was already starting to try my patience. But another thing was on my mind. Narcissa was coming to Hogwarts.

Over these two years I had not gone a day without thinking about her. She had never truly left my head or my heart. I missed her, I missed her more then I cared to admit. But things couldn't be the same between us. _"She must hate me."_ I thought. _"Well, that wouldn't make much of a difference. One more person that hates you, one more unworthy person."_ I tried to convince myself that it was true, that Narcissa didn't matter. But it wasn't. I was just being a fool, as usual.

I heard the Great Hall's doors open as the First Years filed in. I tried to stop myself from searching for her, but I couldn't. It was like I was programed. I looked down each row, trying to pick out a light blonde head, but there was nothing. I felt something rise up in me, panic. I was panicking. I mentally slapped myself. _"Come on, Lucius. Are you really that desperate for a friend?"_ the answer was yes. Yes I was.

McGonagall called names and one by one a new student was called. When she entered the B's I was nearly on the edge of my seat.

"Narcissa Black!"

My breath caught in my throat. There she was, little Narcissa. She was a beautiful child, her blonde hair sparkling; her aristocratic features arranged perfectly on her face, she was an angle. I felt something pull at my heart, a strange sensation. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to hold her in my arms and shelter her from the world. It was an odd feeling and I jailed and executed it just like I had done the others.

After a long moment the hat called out, "SLYTHERIN." Narcissa did not jump off the seat, grinning like mad, hightailing it to the table. No. She stood gracefully, politely smiled at McGonagall and walked over to her sisters, settling down in-between them.

I glanced up at her, quickly. _"Narcissa…What has happened to you?" _This was not the Cissa I knew, this was a stranger. Her once sky blue eyes were covered in dark clouds, threatening to storm at any moment. I could see the sad, grey days reflected in them. They were like a plain landscape, the grass and tress withered, the crops dying in fields, clouds touching every corner, but it would not rain. She would never let those eyes rain. The clouds just stayed and stayed and stayed.

"Something you would like to say Useless?" Bella's cold voice cut through my thoughts.

I turned to her. "Nothing that would interest your minuscule brain, I'm sure." My lip curled as I sneered.

"Quite right, nothing from your haughty mouth would interest me. However, my interest in your intellect is not what made me ask. I just simply can't resist your charm; you really do have a way with words, Master Malfoy. And how did you manage to perfect that incredibly sexy lip curl? Honestly, I don't know whether to fuck you or argue with you." She flashed and extremely sarcastic smile.

"Bella, hush. Do not ruin our baby sister's big day because of him. I couldn't think of anything more meaningless." Andromeda sighed and smiled at Narcissa, which Narcissa returned. I did have to admit, Narcissa was a wonderful actress. She truly did seem happy, if you weren't to look at her eyes.

The feast was over and we made our way back to the common room, I ran straight up to me dorm room. My head was reeling. Narcissa hadn't even looked at me but she didn't seem angry. She was sad. But was she sad because of me? Did she even remember me? Had she even thought about me over the years? Why do I want to protect her? What's wrong with me? I hadn't felt this many things in years. Too many feelings, my heart and head were being overloaded. After an hour of tossing and turning, I decided to go down to the common room and clear my head.

I sat there, for merlin knows how long, just staring at the fire, thinking about those eyes. Her eyes. How could I have let this happened to her? How could I have caused her so much pain? It wasn't fair. It just wasn't fair.

"Lucius." A soft voice called.

I turned, there was Cissa. As pail as a ghost, her blonde hair glowing in the moonlight. Without thinking I rushed to her and hugged her close to my chest. I wanted to protect her. To make those eyes blue again. There was nothing romantic about this feeling, dear reader. I didn't know what this feeling was but it wasn't a romantic feeling, yet.

"You never wrote." She whispered.

"I'm sorry…I'm so sorry." My hands shook as I stroked her soft hair.

"Are you?"

"Of course. I thought about you every day over these years, Cissa. I never stopped being sorry."

She was quiet in my arms. I pictured her eyes, how cold and sad they must look.

"What happened to you?" My voice was quiet and breathy.

"Custard." She said.

-I hope you liked this chapter! Thank you to those who reviewed! **PLEASE REVIEW**.-


	5. Cruel

_Anyone can be cruel. _

_Three months into the school year._

I strutted through the halls, my head held high, and a smirk on my face. That was my way, the Malfoy way. Being a Malfoy was almost like having a disease, in the case that it allowed you to get away with everything. It was an excuse to be a bastard. If you did anything wrong or cruel it was forgiven because that is our way, because I am a Malfoy and Malfoys are nothing but cruel. However, I was not the only one like this.

I watched James Potter and his gang strut down the hall, his smirk identical to mine. _"Oh no, Potter."_ I thought. _"There's only room for one smirk in this hallway."_

"Weeeeeeell! If it isn't Useless Malfoy, how kind of you to slither by." He smiled sarcastically.

I shook my head and sneered. "My pleasure, Potter. I see you have added a new member to your fan club. Please do introduce me to this new fan girl." I motioned to the small boy with dark, curly hair, obviously a first year.

James smiled and patted the boy on the back. "This is Sirius, Sirius Black."

A Black, yet another embarrassment to their family tree. "How does it feel to betray your family?" My lip curled. The boy, Sirius, laughed.

"Pretty damn good!" He cracked an attractive smile. He definitely was a Black. Whether he liked it or not.

"So you're proud to be an embarrassment? A traitor?"

His eyes darkened but his smile did not waver. "Damn straight. They're right foul gits, the lot of them. They're the embarrassment." The Marauders laughed.

Out of the corner of my eye I saw that the four Blacks come into the picture. And from the look on James' face, he saw them too. Bellatrix's eyes were narrowed as she glared at Sirius, Andromeda had a look of sad disappointment on her face, Narcissa and Reguals' faces remained unreadable. Something told me that they heard what Sirius said.

I leaned against the pillar, watching the show.

"Speaking of new arrivals," James gasped in faux surprise. "Do tell us, Bella dear! Who is this lovely little lady?" He clapped his hands together and batted his eyes at Narcissa, a ridiculous grin spreading across his face. 

"_Don't you dare bring her into this, Potter." _I thought, my fists clenched at my sides. I stole a glance at Bellatrix. _"Stand down, Lucius. Bella has this one."_

Andromeda grabbed Narcissa's hand. "This is Narcissa." She said, coldly.

James raised an eyebrow. "You sure she's a Black? She's awfully…Blonde."

Bellatrix looked as if she would blow up at any minute. "Positive." Andromeda said, tightly.

James' gaze drifted toward Bellatrix and he smirked. "What's the matter, Trixie? Did I hit a soft spot? Mummy and Daddy not sleeping in the same bed anymore?" Sirius stopped grinning and looked at his cousins. Even he knew that this was going too far.

Bellatrix moved for her wand but Andromeda stayed her hand as if to say, _"Not yet, Bella."_ The dark sister nodded and resumed her glaring. The Blacks began to walk away.

"And you think Sirius is the embarrassment! I guess you forgot your daddy is seeking blonder pastures!" James shouted after them.

Bellatrix stopped in her tracks and screamed. "THAT. IS. IT. POTTER." She threw hex after hex at the marauders, sending them running and screaming.

"Bella! Stop!" Andromeda shouted. Narcissa and Regulas leaned against the same wall as I.

"It's pointless Andy! She's not going to stop once you've got her going!" Regulas yelled, laughing. He turned to Narcissa. "Maybe she'll listen to you, Cissy. Go on, give it a try."

Narcissa nodded. "I'll step in when I think she's gone too far." She stole a small glance at me. I smiled at her. She didn't smile back.

Bellatrix caught Sirius by the hood of his robes and pointed her wand to his face. "Give me one reason as to why I shouldn't blow your face off, Sirius!"

Narcissa left the wall and placed a hand on Bellatrix's shoulder. "He's not worth it, Bella." She said, her voice cold and soft. Bellatrix paused, still holding onto Sirius. She rolled her eyes and sighed, lowering her wand. Before we knew what was happening, she slapped him across his face, the sound bounded off the walls in the silent hallway. She stormed off towards Andromeda and Regulas, satisfied.

It was just Narcissa and Sirius, staring at one another. Finally, Narcissa spoke. "I wasn't embarrassed, Sirius. Not until now." She picked up his wand, handed it to him and walked away the three other Blacks following.

So no, I was not the only cruel one at Hogwarts but people tend to get stuck on names.

Later that night I waited in the common room. It had become a sort of tradition for Cissa and me. Not to mention that this was the only time I could see her without the worry of being spied on. I felt the couch sink slightly as Narcissa sat down. She said nothing and stared at the wall, as if she was listening to it make a grand speech.

"I'm sorry about earlier today." I said.

She nodded and smiled, her eyes not leaving the wall. "Thank you."

All was quiet. I spoke, determined to get something out of her. "I know about your father, about how he fell in love with a blood-traitor." I said.

She nodded, still smiling, still listening to the wall. "Yes, I know too."

"Is that why your mother made that statement about custard?" I asked.

"She's not my mother." She said.

Strangely enough, that answered my question. I tilted her head to face me. "Narcissa, please. Let me help you." She was still smiling, her eyes filled with clouds. "I just want to see _you_ again. Just tell me what is wrong. Let me fix it." I said.

"Never leave me again." I nodded and hugged her close, sheltering her from the world.

Cissa never did tell me much about Druella Black. Only that she was a woman who loved a man who loved another. And Narcissa felt sorry for her.


	6. The End is Only the Beginning

_It's easy to blame someone for things you don't understand._

I have decided to sum the rest of my third year through old letters. I do not have the heart to write more than the last part of this chapter. It has been fifty one years and these wounds are still too deep. But this is a critical part of this story, a part that has to be told. Isn't it curious, how the end of one life could be the beginning of another's?

_Dear Mother,_

_My classes are going well, expect all O's from me. I was elected Capitan of the quidditch team, I know you could care less but please inform father. You should be happy to know that I have made new a friend. A boy called Severus Snape. He is extremely gifted and I quite enjoy his company. Hogwarts is the same as usual. I hope you and father are well. _

_Yours Truly,_

_Lucius._

_Lucy, _

_So formal! Goodness, I didn't know if you were writing a letter to your most beloved mother or a paper for your most hated professor! I guess that's just you being you. Have we done too much pooh-poohing? Anyways, you were right, I don't care too much about the qudditch but your father was thrilled, well as thrilled as he can be without dancing on the table. However, I did dance on the table when you said you made a friend! I'm so proud of you! I was worried you might get lonely. However, I still can't shake the feeling that something is on your mind. Remember, you can tell me anything. I hope to hear from you soon!_

_Love,_

_Mummy._

_Mother,_

_No, I have not done too much pooh-poohing. I am, after all, your son. And I am glad that I pleased both you and father. I would have loved to see his reaction to your dancing on the table. I'm already smiling just thinking about it. Since you asked, there is something on my mind; a burning question. I know someone, a boy about my age. Who is friends with someone he's not allowed to be friends with. I keep telling him to cut the ties, to quit embarrassing his family. But, he won't stop. He says he can't. He says this person means something too him. This person brings out the best in him, makes the world seem a better place. They make him happy to be alive. At least, that's what he says. What should he do? Which way is the right way? Happiness? Or duty? Is it ever okay to do something you're not supposed to? Please write soon._

_Your son,_

_Lucius._

_Mother,_

_Why haven't you replied? Is something wrong?_

_Mother,_

_What's going on?_

_Lucius, _

_Come home, immediately._

_Your father._

"Your mother is dying." My father said. Those words seemed to leave a bitter taste in his mouth. He looked at me, shuffling in place.

I saw tears forming in his grey eyes. "How long has she been like this?" My voice was hoarse; I can still remember that empty feeling in my stomach, that whole forming in my heart.

He ran a hand through his hair. "Since the beginning of this year…it's some form of muggle disease. Cancer…We wizards do not fully understand it yet…However, the muggle treatment is damn near barbaric." He spat out the words and began to pace back and forth.

"Why didn't you tell me?" Anger was rising in me.

Father sighed. "We didn't want to trouble you while you were in school…This is not something I wanted to burden you with, Lucius. I can't even…" He choked out a sob. "I can't even begin to understand…"

A healer came out of my parent's room. "You may come in, we have woken her up. You don't have much time." She spoke softly, but her tone was matter of fact. My mother was dying, there was nothing she could do about it, it was time to say goodbye. Straight and to the point.

I walked in, my legs shaking. I remember thinking, this wasn't happening. This wasn't happening. No, no, no. I wanted to scream. This was all wrong. This was all the muggle's fault. They did this to her. This was their disease. They would pay. I would make them pay. They will pay.

My mother lay in bed, clutching two letters she stared at my father and me, blankly. There was nothing left in her eyes. She was already gone. She blinked once, twice and then no more. She was gone.

The healer pulled the sheet over her head and took the letters from her hand. She turned to us again.

"This is for you." She handed one to my father. "And this is for you." She handed one to me. "I'll leave you alone." She left the room.

My father opened the letter, his face growing paler and paler until his mask was finally broken. The marble crumbled down and raw emotion was on display. He shook as the sobs racked his body, his hand covered his face. My father's heart was torn in two. The letter fell to the floor.

I ran into his arms, feeling like a little boy again. He held me close as he continued to cry.

My father let me go and nodded. "You see to it that every last muggle feels this pain. They will pay for what they've done…For this disease that they have unleashed upon us."

"They will pay, father. They will pay for what they've done to her. I swear. They will not go unpunished." I meant every word. There was no stopping me now. This was their disease, their fault and they would pay. They would pay for taking my mother away from me. They would pay for breaking my father.

His hands cupped my face and he walked out of the room, leaving his letter on the floor.

I opened mine, slowly. It said as follows.

_Lucy,_

_To answer your question, here is what I think. Duty and happy go hand and hand. It's your duty to make you happy. Do not worry so much about, "Not supposed to". Life is too short to make everyone happy; sometimes you have to focus on you. Sometimes you have to think outside the box, the box that this "boy's" parents made for him. I know that boy is you, Lucius. I know that you are conflicted with choices. I know that you want to make your father and me proud. But I want you to be happy and I want you to know that I will always be proud of you. I have spent my whole life doing what other people told me to do. I ignored what made me happy and chose to please the people around me. However, I do not regret my choices, I have loved my life. I have had my chance to be happy, you go and seize yours. _

_I love you with all my heart,_

_Your mother, Josette Cassandra Malfoy._

I found myself reacting the same way my father had. I shook and cried, I cried because she knew exactly what to say and because she wasn't with me to say it.

I sank down to floor and picked up my father's letter.

_Abraxas,_

_You have made my life wonderful. You know that, don't you? I feel that I haven't told you enough. I couldn't have asked for a more perfect life. For a more perfect soul mate. You are my soul mate, Abraxas. And you will always be. I know things haven't been easy and I know that our time was short but look at all of the things we've done. We have a beautiful family, a beautiful life. I do not want you to stop living just because I have. You go and live. I'll be with you every step of the way. As for my burial arrangements, I would like to be cremated. I spent my whole life in a box; I don't want to be buried in one. _

_It's been fun,_

_Your Josie._

This was the day when my hate became even stronger. This was the day when I committed myself to avenging my mother and when my love for Narcissa was accepted. This was the day when my life changed and I began my own journey through right and wrong.

-Thanks to LuciusNarcissa for reviewing! I'll try and update every weekend, maybe. Until then! P.s the last line about living in a box is not mine, it's from the movie The Last Holiday.-


	7. Voldemort

_There are those hearts that never mend again, once they have been broken. Or if they do heal, they heal in the crooked way and lopsided way, like they were sewn together by a careless craftsmen._

_-The Tail of Desperaux_

This was the beginning; the start of the avalanche of bad choices. I stormed through the halls of Hogwarts, knocking people out of the way. My heart was broken and bleeding, all of the cracks beginning to fill with hate and lust for power; the lust to dominate the people who "killed" my mother. But there was a small part of me that knew it wasn't their fault, that disease was something out of people's control. However, that was a very small part of me and I chose to lock away, along with my conscience and reason. I know what you must think of me, but try to remember, Dear reader. This is not a story of some heroic boy who made all of the right choices. It's about a broken boy who did everything wrong.

I had not cried since the day mother left, not a single tear. I had thrown things, smashed things, yelled at things. I had turned into a monster. Sweeping into the common room, I piled books onto a desk. _Muggle Annihilation. Famous Dark Wizards. Pureblood Supremacy. Dark Spells. _I had to do something, I had to get revenge. I would do whatever it took to bring them down, to wipe them off the face of this earth. I would receive all O's, learn every spell there ever was, and join anyone just to destroy that filth.

I opened the copy of _Dark Spells_ and began to read. I don't know how long I sat there. I don't know how long I read. I was immersed in the book, in all that it told. I felt a sick satisfaction crawl up my spine. "This will work." I whispered to myself. Suddenly, a small, white hand crept up and gently shut the book. I felt another hand rest on my shoulder.

"You weren't at dinner." Cissa said.

"I'm not hungry." I barked. It startled me how hoarse and gruff my voice sounded, like it wasn't even mine.

Cissa said nothing and leaned her head on my shoulder. She whispered in my ear, "I know, Lucius. I know." Her hand went to cover mine. I felt an overwhelming calm rush over me, a temporary substitute for the lust and hate.

I turned and placed my head on her shoulder, letting the silent tears run down my face.

"It's okay to feel hurt, Lucius. It's so much better then all of this anger…" Cissas' voice was soothing and calm but her words stung.

"I'm not going to stop doing the right thing, Narcissa. They deserve to be punished. They deserve to die. It should've been some muggle…Not my mother…" I turned away.

She gently turned my head to face her. "I need you to try and listen to me, Lucius." She smiled, a small sad smile, her fingers stroking my cheek, the other hand still holding tightly to mine. "Many that live deserve death, many that die deserve life. But can you give it to them?" she paused for a moment and swept a piece of hair from my forehead. "Do not be so quick to deal out death and judgment. You're not a killer, Lucius."

I let her words sink in and I nodded. "I will try, Cissa….I will try my best." She smiled and kissed my cheek.

"She's proud of you, Lucius. I know she is." I smiled and wrapped my arms around her. I knew she was telling the truth. Cissa would never lie to me. As I hugged her, I noticed something, something that wasn't there before. A certain feeling in my gut. It wasn't that old protective feeling. It was something more. _"No. Stop it Lucius. She's a baby, for merlin's sake! She's like a sister to you. You can't be falling for her."_ I thought.

"I will always be here for you." She whispered.

"Thank you, Cissa. For everything." I looked into her eyes. She looked tired. "You should go to bed. I'll be along in a minute." She nodded and gave my hand an extra squeeze before gliding up the stairs.

I sighed and ran a hand through my hair, I felt lighter, happier, like my heart was starting to piece its self together again. Maybe Cissa was right, I'm no killer. It's not my place to decide who live and dies. I began to gather my books. Suddenly, the common room went dark. Someone grabbed me from behind, their sharp nails digging into my skin, their other hand covering my mouth.

"I've been watching you, Lucius." A woman's voice hissed. "Is your hate as strong as I think it is?"

I did not reply. Her nails dug in harder. "Answer me!" She shrieked. I nodded.

"Good boy." Her breath was hot on my ear. "Come with me." She dragged me along with her, roughly. We zigzagged through corridors, or what I thought were corridors. I slowed my breath. I would not show fear. I held onto my wand tighter.

We stopped moving. The room was cold, and I could still see nothing.

"My Lord, I have brought another." I heard the woman say, her voice at a husky purr now.

"Well done, Bellatrix. Bring him to me, I wish to speak with him alone." A high, cold voice spoke. I was in shock. Bellatrix was the woman? Something was wrong.

I felt her push me into a room and I heard the door click shut. I was alone. Alone with this…Man. The charm was lifted and I could see. The man had his back to me, a long black cloak draping his small frame, he was tall, his long white hands twirled a bone colored wand.

"What is your name?" he asked, his voice demanding respect.

I was in no mood to be bullied. "What's yours?" I asked, sneering.

"My name is not of any importance." His voice was calm but there was an underlying anger, an uncontrolled rage that made my blood turn cold. "I will ask you once more. What is your name?"

"Lucius Abraxas Malfoy." I stated, proudly.

"Ah, A Malfoy. You are of a very noble bloodline." He turned to face me, most of his face still covered. I saw red eyes gleam from under his hood. "Your mother is deceased, correct?" his voice was almost taunting.

"Yes." I growled.

"Such a shame that she succumbed to a muggle disease. Such disgusting creatures, don't you agree?" I nodded and continued to watch him. He seemed unfazed. "You are a smart boy, Lucius. A strong and pureblooded wizard. How would you like to be a part of something? Something big?"

I raised an eyebrow. "What kind of something?"

"The perfection of this world. The annihilation of filth. A chance to avenge your beloved mother." He was in my head, searching for something. He riffled through memories. He was there when my mother died. _"It's all their fault, Lucius. They deserve to be punished."_ He said. He was there in the common room. He pointed to Cissa. _"She is wrong, Lucius it is your choice."_ He said. "_They will take her away, just like they did your mother. You have to protect her, snap her out of her ignorance." _

I felt him pull out of my head. "Think of all of the wrong that they have done, Lucius. Think of your poor mother. It is your duty to do this." He said. "Think of how powerful you will be." He was circling me now.

I felt the old hate for the muggles come back, my cracked heart once again being filled with lust and hate. But Cissa's words still rang in my head. _"But I promised her, I promised her that I would try_…_"_ I thought.

"This is for her, Lucius. You're saving her. You're saving all of us." He hissed.

"I will do it."

Cissa's warning left my head as he took my arm and branded me. I was branded with the mark of the devil and there was no turning back.

-Thanks to MarianaNM for reviewing! P.s This chapter takes place in the beginning of Lucius' fourth year, Narcissas' second. Oh! The quote that Narcissa said, _"Many that die deserve life, and many that live deserve death. But can we give it to them? Do not be so quick to deal out death and judgment."_ It's from Lord of the Rings! Gandalf says it, I think. -


	8. Just Checking

_Hearts are complicated things, shadowed with dark and spotted with light._

The year progressed and I fell deeper and deeper into Lord Voldemort's trap. He was captivating, an intellectual, a god. Or, at least, I thought he was at the time. I know now that he wasn't a god, reader. I know a lot of things now that I wish I had known then. But that is not a part of this story. This is not a happy or feel good tail, reader. This is not a story of a knight in shining armor, come to save the day. No. This is my story.

"Kneel." Said my Lord.

We all kneeled in unison, not a foot out of place. A sick smirk of satisfaction glinted across the dark Lord's face. It was times like these when the little voice in the back of my head nagged at me.

_There is something very wrong here, Lucius. What would Cissa think of you, Lucius? This is wrong. All wrong. Wrong, wrong, wrong, wrong. _

I should have listened, I should have known. But I didn't listen and I didn't know reader. Not all of us possess the same depth for right and wrong. In my mind the muggles killed my mother and that was wrong. So what was so wrong about killing a muggle? Nothing, reader. Absolutely nothing. Or, at least, that's what I thought.

"You have served your master well in the short time that we have been together." The dark Lord said his voice eerily calm. "So you have earned a little…treat." A something floated out of the shadows. A small, old, muggle man.

Voldemort continued. "You are too young to kill." He said, twirling his wand between his fingers. "However, you are not too young to watch." He paused, eyeing us all. "And you are in need of some entertainment."

The muggle man began to scream and squirm as Voldemort tortured him. A sick kind of feeling crept up my spine. This muggle was feeling the same pain I felt every day, every day I didn't have my mother. It was as if he mirrored my broken heart, a twisted, screaming, ugly thing. Did he deserve that pain? No. But neither did I.

Voldemort set his wand down and stared at the man. All was silent. The man didn't blink, nor did he shiver. He calmly placed his hand on his heart as Voldemort whispered two words.

"Avada Kedavera."

Cheers emitted from the Death Eaters. All of us marveling at the display. I did nothing, I felt nothing. I know what you must think of me reader, go on, think it. I know I am.

"Lucius. You're doing it again." Severus' voice snapped me out of my revere. That day was all I thought about, it was consuming me. I didn't know what to think.

I turned to Severus. "Sorry." I mumbled. "I have things on my mind."

Severus lifted an eyebrow but said nothing more on the subject. He spotted the Mud-blood Evans and stared at her, longingly. I suddenly felt disgusted.

"You are wasting your time, Severus. She is worthless." My voice was cold. "It's people like that that have no place in this world." Andromeda looked up from her work; an angry look crossed her face.

"As a matter of fact. It's people like you, Lucius that have no place in this world." She scowled at me. Narcissa and Severus watched the both of us.

"I have more worth than she will ever be." I hissed.

"You are a heartless pig and worth much less than even that." She countered.

"You worthless cow! You know nothing of my heart!" I shouted.

"I know enough, Malfoy. I know enough." Andromeda stood, he mouth inches away from my ear.

"Give my regards to my sister. I know to what you belong, Lucius." She gave me a look full of hatred and stormed away.

"I have a heart." I whispered.

Cissa stood her eyes unreadable. I felt her small, cold hand cover my chest.

"What are you doing?" I said.

"Just checking, Lucius."

-Well, this chapter was more of a filer then anything. I hope you liked. Thanks to

Offwithyourhead000 and LuciusNarcissa for reviewing! It means so much to me .-


	9. The Devil's Angel

_A man can go through all of his life having anything that he wants, money, sex, things, things, things, and never be truly happy. For, you don't need money, sex, or things to be happy. You need a hand in your own and a smile on your face, things even the richest of men lack. _

We have a tendency to take things for granted; a simple thank you, a smile here and there, or a warm hug from a friend. These are things we come accustomed to. We get used to having that unconditional love, that true, unwavering, unconditional love. We take it for granted and I am no exception, dear reader. No one is.

Cissa had finally come out of her shell. The longer she was away from home, the less clouded her eyes became and more smiles shone upon her face. It made me happy, as happy as I could be at that time, to see her suffering end.

She was one of those people who could bring a light to a dark room, make a blind man see, a starving man full, a selfish man humble, a broken man whole again. She did these things to me every time I saw her. Gods, I miss her so.

But I'm getting off track. My apologies, dear reader. Anyways, back to my topic for this installment. I took Cissa for granted. I took her smiles, her laugh, _everything_ for granted. I wanted something exotic, I wanted power, I wanted have something worthy of a hero, worthy of a Death Eater. I now know I was not a hero. But do try to remember, dear reader, I thought my cause was a worthy one. In my broken, rotting heart I thought I was doing the right thing.

In my mind, Cissa was too soft, too sweet to be worthy of a Death Eater. Piper wasn't.

Piper Tisane, remember that name, dear reader.

She was, is, everything that Cissa wasn't. Cruel, cunning, mysterious, seductive. She intoxicated me with her electric violet eyes, her plump, smirking mouth and dark, black curls. She was everything a Death Eater could have wanted and everything that I wanted. But she was far from what I needed. Far from it, dear reader.

"Come on Severus! You need to at least try a hand at quidditch! Be man for merlin's sake!" My life revolved around three things at the time, Piper, death eatering, and quidditch.

Severus groaned and looked at Cissa. "If I'm going you're coming too. I will not be tortured to withstand Lucius' company all by my lonesome." He smiled, Cissa was one of the few he did that to. Her powers were truly great.

She sighed and tucked a stray hair behind her ear, I noticed how beautiful she looked by the fireplace. She was angelic. I shook my head, it wasn't right for the devil to think of an angel. I focused on Piper, not angelic but far more interesting, a devil like me.

"All right, alright. I'll teach you boys how it's done!" Cissa jumped off the couch and ran past me, Severus and I chased after her, heading onto the snow covered grounds.

We laughed and ran, far away from our troubles, away from Dark Lords and controlling parents, shame and conflict. We were children, friends, playing in the snow.

Severus and I landed onto the quidditch pitch. Cissa was nowhere to be found. Suddenly, I was pushed to the ground, Cissa's face inches away from mine.

"Hi." She smiled.

She smelled of cinnamon. "Hi." My voice was soft. She was so beautiful, covered in snow, her pail face and choral lips, she was perfect. But I didn't deserve her; a devil didn't deserve an angel.

"Are we going to play or what?!" Severus threw the brooms at us and a grin crept across Narcissa's face.

We hopped on our brooms and flew off, fast.

I always seemed to forget how good of a flyer Cissa was, she would whisk past me before I even had time to think. Between her and Severus, I was fucked.

I caught a glimpse of Piper, leaning against the stands, watching Cissa.

As I watched Piper, Cissa sped past me and grabbed the qaffle. She looked back at me, grinning, about to make a goal.

Suddenly, her broom bucked and she went flying down, falling, falling, falling.

"CISSA!" I swooped down as fast as I could. But Severus was closer and caught her first.

I landed on the ground and ran towards them. "Cissa? Cissa!" She smiled at me, shaken but in good humor.

"I'm fine, Lucius."

Severus was on the verge of panic, well as panicked as Severus could be. "Damn school brooms, always acting up."

"Or careless flying." A silky voice said from behind me.

Severus eyed Piper. "Or jinxing." He growled.

Cissa put a hand on his shoulder. "She's right I was being careless." She smiled at me and Piper.

"Come Lucius." Piper said.

I hesitated, still looking at Cissa. "Are you sure you-"

Piper cut me off. "She will be fine, Lucius, Now let's go."

Cissa smiled at me again. "Go on."

I nodded.

So, the devil left his angel, for one of his own kind.

Not knowing that it was his soul,

He had left behind.

The angel was what he needed but what he didn't want.

For, he was undeserving, with his broken, bleeding heart.

-Well, this is probably going to be the last chapter for a while. I really feel no motivation for this story and I don't think many other people do either. We'll see what happens! Until then! P.s Much love and thanks to Offwithyourhead00!-


	10. Where You Belong

"_Oh, I could love you but I'm not yet what you what you want. Oh, anyone could love you. But you've gotta find where you belong."_

"So then-Are you even listing to me? Lucius!"

Piper's angry screech rang in my ears. I turned my gaze away from Cissa and forced an apologetic smile.

"Yes, go on. I'm hanging on your every word."

Piper scowled and continued her dull tail. Slowly, I glanced back at Cissa. She was laughing, a tinkling, and bell-like sound. Our time together had been limited, with Piper as my shadow and with Cissa constantly under her sister's watchful eyes, we were kept apart.

Andromeda had made it clear she didn't approve of our friendship, Bellatrix felt the same. So, they made sure Cissa was within seeing distance at all times. Truly a nuisance, an utter nuisance.

One of Piper's fools burst in, out of breath. "Piper! Come quick! Andrea's gone and bought the same dress as you! It's horrible!"

Piper stood, her face contorted with rage. "Excuse me, Lucius, darling. I 've got something to take care of."

I nodded and watched her storm away, relieved.

I looked over to Cissa, surprised to see that her sisters had left as well.

_ "Finally!"_ I thought.

Cissa looked up at me, grinning. Apparently she thought the same.

We quickly made our way out to the courtyard, bundled up in our winter cloaks, watching the snow fall.

I think that this is one of the things I miss the most about my Cissa. Just her being there, just the simple things, the long walks, the way the snow shone in her hair, how her blue eyes sparked.

We talked of nothing and thought of nothing. She made me realize the importance of nothingness, the importance of being.

We sat on a fallen log, looking up at the stars.

"My sisters don't like you. Why?" She wasn't looking at me. She continued to gaze at the stars, smiling; as if she'd asked why the sky was blue.

I considered telling her the truth, telling her about how I'd broke my promise, about how I was a murderer. I really did.

"I haven't the slightest idea."

She nodded, still looking at the sky. I sat there, watching her, taking in everything.

"All of the Blacks are named after the stars. Did you know that?"

I shook my head. "I did not."

She pointed to the sky. "See, there's the Andromeda galaxy, and Bellatrix. Over there is Sirius' constellation. And Cygnus, Regulus, so on and so on." She smiled. "Such beautiful stars."

I continued to look at the sky. "Indeed. But where is Narcissa in this sky? I would like to see her."

Her smile flattered. "I'm not named after a star." She looked down and began to play with her scarf. "Not important enough, I guess." Her eyes found mine.

I brushed a strand of hair from her face. "Cissa…"

She gulped. "I've never told anyone that before…It was silly of me. I apologize."

I wrapped an arm around her. "You're much more important than any old star. Your light is far more precious, so much more special. Remember that, Cissa. Remember that."

She inched closer to me. "Lucius…I-"

"There you are!" Piper stormed through the brush, along with Andromeda. "We've been looking for you two!"

"Cissy! Bella and I were worried sick! Come here before you catch a cold!" Andromeda shot me a glare. "I do hope everything is alright." She scowled.

I bowed my head. "Just fancied a look at the stars."

"Well I'll give you much more interesting things to look at once we get inside." Piper dragged me to my feet as Andromeda did the same to Narcissa.

I felt Piper grab my hand as we walked away. I fought the urge to look back at Cissa. I didn't belong with her, my place was with Piper…Or so I thought.

-Long time no see, bros ;)-


	11. If You Truly Loved Her

_If you truly love someone, you will do what's best for them. even if it means not loving them anymore._

"Tell me, Lucius; are you happy to serve me?" His red eyes glinted behind his hood, never leaving my face.

"Of course, My Lord; I am forever loyal to your cause."

"Indeed."

All was silent.

He spoke again. "How far are you willing to go, Lucius?"

I gulped. "As far as it takes, my Lord."

He nodded.

"I am worried, that you have become soft, Lucius. And I think you and I both know the culprit."

I saw his red eyes dart to the side and heard the door creak open, I felt my heart skip a beat.

Two other death eaters drug in Narcissa, kicking and screaming.

"Get off of me! Let me go! Lucius! Lucius!" She screamed and screamed. I couldn't bare it.

"My Lord! Please stop!" I begged.

I felt a hard tug on my hair as my head was pulled back, Voldemort's face was inches from mine.

"I will ask you once more. How far are you willing to go?"

My mouth went dry.

"Answer me!" I felt his long nails digging into my scalp.

"As far as it takes! I swear!"

He released me and backed into the shadows, his red eyes still gleaming.

"Then prove it." He hissed.

I turned to Cissa.

"Lucius…What are you doing?" She began to back away.

"I'm sorry, Cissa…I'm so sorry." I began to raise my hand.

"Lucius...Please..."

"Avada kedavra."

I saw the light fade from her eyes as she fell back to the Earth.

I woke with a start, looking around the common room, franticly. Much to my relief, Cissa was curled up next to me, fast asleep. I sighed and ran a hand through my hair.

"It's just a night-mare, Lucius…Just a night mare." I whispered. But I knew that wasn't true; it was far from a simple night mare, it was a warning. I was trailing down a dark and lonely path, a path that definetly didn't include Cissa.

A stern voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

"Narcissa, you should be in bed by now. Come, I'll be along in a minute." Andromeda smiled at her younger sister, despite her tone and helped her off of the couch.

Cissa cast me a sleepy glance and followed her sister up the stairs. I continued to watch her until she was past my gaze. I caught a glimpse of Andromeda's angry glare, it was time for me to go. Slowly, I began to rise. But Andromeda was on a mission.

"I want a word with you." She snapped.

I raised an eyebrow. "Yes, Miss. Black?"

"What are you playing at with my sister? Hm? What do you want from her?"

"I want nothing more than to be her friend."

"That is a lie and you know it." She began to pace the room. "You do not look at her through the eyes of a friend, Lucius! And I want you to stop!"

"I can assure you I have no idea what you are talking about."

"She is just a girl, Lucius! And she is very fragile, you cannot even begin to imagine how fragile."

"I understand that."

"I think not considering you break everything in your path! You are a murderer, Lucius! And I do not want my sister to be involved with you!"

"I'm afraid I must decline your request, Miss. Black."

"This is an order!"

"Then I must disobey your order!" I could feel my temper rising.

"Leave her alone!"

"No!"

"Why the hell not?"

"Because I love her!" I shut my mouth quickly; this was all going too fast.

All was silent.

"Prove it." Andromeda growled.

"What would you have me do?"

"Leave the Death Eaters, become a better man, dump that bitch you're dating."

"You know I can't do that…"

Her hazel eyes bored into mine. "Then you don't love her."

It was my turn to glare. "Y-

Andromeda cut me off. "If you loved her you would put her before everything else. Everything, Lucius Malfoy. You don't love her; you don't love anything but yourself. And you know it's true, don't even try to deny it." She began to pace the floor. "Cissa is my sister, my beautiful, sweet sister! I will not let you ruin her! I will not lose another sister to that monster!"

"You can't stop her, Andromeda. If she wants to be with me, it is her choice. You can't stop us."

"Cissa would never chose you if she knew what you have done! How many people have you killed, Lucius? How heartless have you become?"

She had left me speechless. For, her words were not just cruel, they were true. The truth hurts the most, they say.

"As long as I am here, as long as she is my sister, I will do everything in my power to protect her from you. You will never have my sister, never."

With a final glare, Andromeda turned from me.

An evil plan formed in my mind, and evil thought, something that I dearly regret thinking. But the seed had been planted in my mind and it was making roots. Andromeda was in the way of what I wanted and when a Malfoy wants something, they will have it.

"I know your secret, Andromeda." I said. "Just like you know mine." She stopped dead in her tracks.

She spoke quietly, her back still facing me. "What?"

"How is dear Ted?" She was silent, I continued. "You tell me I will hurt Cissa, betray her trust, and yet you are doing the exact same thing. I always knew you were a mud-blood lover. Honestly, what would your parents think?"

Andromeda began to shake. "You wouldn't dare."

I chuckled, darkly. "Oh, I think I would. As you have said before, I am heartless."


	12. Beauty and the Beast END OF PART ONE

_The_ _good we do for others is not for others at all. In fact, the good we do for others can quickly turn into the good we do for ourselves. Eventually the others are forgotten._

**(P.s This is the last day of Narcissas' second year and Lucius' fourth.)**

I have mentioned before that I have made many mistakes; I have also mentioned that I am a man who is meant to be hated. I have done many horrible things, to all means of people, even those I love the most. So, dear reader, be prepared to hate me again and don't forget that I'm on the same side as you.

"_Another year gone." Cissa said quietly, as she packed._

_I nodded. "I promise I will write you."_

"_You can't, my parents monitor the mail now." She closed her suitcase. "They aren't as forgiving as your father; Papa still hasn't forgotten the past or his hate for your family. Not to mention Andromeda would be upset with me."_

"_Well, you won't have to worry about her much longer." I whispered._

"_Pardon?"_

"_Nothing, Cissa. Look, if you ever need anything, contact me by floo. I will always be there. You could also use Severus as last resort." _

_She smiled. "You don't need to baby me, Lucius. I am not a child." _

_I brushed a piece of hair from her face. "I know I just worry about you, Cissa." _

"_What are you playing at, Lucius?" She slapped my hand away, good naturedly. "I think you should go, Piper will be waiting for you." _

_I groaned._

"_If you really dislike her so much, why are you with her?" _

"_Because Voldemort chose her, because she's a fellow death eater, because she's the logical choice." I thought. "It's complicated, Cissa." _

_She shrugged. "It doesn't have to be." _

_I sighed and shook my head. "Let's go, Cissa."_

I found myself remembering that day often over the summer as I waited for Cissa's call.

I knew that after I made my threat to Andromeda, it was only a matter of time before she left the Blacks. I had no need to tell them of her relationship; she would do all of that for me.

I had planted an idea in her head. In thinking that I would tell her parents, she would beat me to the punch and leave on her own. Thus, leaving me free to be with Cissa without any further interruptions. Bellatrix has just finished her final year, Rodolphus couldn't care less about Narcissa's life, and Andromeda was about to be blasted out of her life completely.

Yes, all I had to do was wait.

This would be the best decision I ever made, planting that idea in Andromeda's head. Narcissa would be free, free from that mud-blood loving, over protective, scum. She won't even be upset, not upset in the slightest. Or so I thought.

The fire place burst into green flames as a disheveled Cissa stepped out.

"Lucius…" Her voice was barely a whisper.

I jumped from my bed, pretending to be surprised. "Cissa!"

She sat in the chair nearest the window, her posture ridged, and her face stony and cold. "Something terrible has happened."

My smile faded, this was not the reaction I was hoping for. Anger at her sister, hate for what she had done, I could have handled that. But this…This was not what I was expecting.

"What happened?"

She turned her eyes from the window, looking directly at me. "I have just lost a sister."

My heart sank as I realized her eyes were once again clouded over. I said nothing.

"Andromeda has left our family." She began to fidget with her hands in her lap.

"But Cissa…You should be glad. She was poisoning your blood, with her muggle loving ways."

Her eyes narrowed.

"This is a good thing, it may not feel like it now, Cissa but it is. You will be happier without her in your life. It's people like her that are destroying all we hold dear." I finished with a smile, repeating exactly what the Dark Lord would have said.

Cissa's eyes darkened and her lips pursed. "So, it's true then." She smoothed down her dress and crossed her legs, primly. "You're one of them."

"I can explain..." I stuttered.

"Don't you dare, Lucius. Don't you dare try to defend yourself."

I gulped. I had never seen Cissa this angry. Never.

"How could you lie to me?" Her tone was quiet, deadly.

"I didn't think you needed to know this information."

"All this time, Andromeda was trying to protect me from you…" She stood and faced the window, her back to me. "You wanted her to leave didn't you?"

I said nothing.

"Didn't you?" She whispered, fiercely.

"I was doing what was best thing for you…For us."

I saw her shoulders tense. "No, Lucius. You were doing the best thing for you. Not for me. And don't even pretend that there was an us."

I felt my temper rise. "You stupid girl! Everything I do is for you!"

"Really? In what way have I benefited so far, Lucius? All you've done is hurt me."

"Open your eyes, Cissa! I am on the right side! You're just too naive to see it. You're just a silly little girl!"

"Better a silly little girl with a heart in her chest than a beast with a hole in his!"

Silence.

Narcissa picked up her cloak and began to leave.

"Is that it then? You're just going to leave me? After all I have done for you? Don't…Don't you love me?"

She turned to face me, her face cold and stony, giving away no emotion. "Who could ever love a beast?"

With that, she was gone.

**END OF PART ONE**

**-Okay, the Hogwarts portion of their lives is over! The next chapter will jump to when Lucius is 20 and Narcissa is 18, just graduated from Hogwarts. How will Lucius reconcile? Hmmmm..Ideas if you have any :D PLEASE REVIEW! I'M DESPERATE HERE!-**


	13. The Day

_When a heart breaks, it don't break even._

_Breakeven. By The Script _

It had been six years since I had seen, heard, or even thought of Cissa. Since that day, I had wiped her from my mind. But not from my heart. As much as I hated to admit it, she still owned a part of my soul and there was no way to be rid of her. I was meant to be with her, we were meant to be with each other.

I remember telling my son about love one day; about how love is tricky. About how you can't just love the good things about people. That's not love. If you truly love someone, you love them for all of who they are. For the things you find loveable and the things you don't find loveable. That's what love is.

It just took Cissa and me a little while to figure that out.

"I think I'm going to do it. Today's the day, Severus. I can feel it." I paced about the room, willing myself to believe that today was, indeed, "The Day".

Piper and I were still going strong, much to Severus' dismay. And I, for quite some time, had been attempting to propose.

This had been going on for a year.

Severus sighed, "Honestly, throw your life away already. I grow weary of attempting to convince you otherwise."

I ignored his comment and looked out my office window. "Here she comes! Here she comes! I'm going to do it!"

Severus hid behind his Daily Prophet. "Oh, bother."

"Lucius, darling!" Piper strutted into my office, kissing me on both cheeks.

"Piper, my dear." I swept her into my arms, ignoring the lurch in my stomach.

Suddenly, Piper was scowling. "What is this trash doing here? Honestly, Lucius, he's ruining the furnishings."

Severus stood. "And you a ruining my friend's pocket book."

Piper turned to me. "Speaking of your pocket book. Where is that gift you were speaking of?"

"Well, I was planning to take you on a romantic night out. Maybe see the stars, take a walk in the park?"

Piper's nose wrinkled. "Would that require going outside?"

Severus scoffed. "Honestly, Lucius. Of all people. Of all people…" Rolling his eyes, he exited the room.

Piper scowled and shouted after him. "I don't know why Lucius pities you so!"

"The same could be said for you, my dear." He shouted back.

I couldn't resist a chuckle.

Much to Piper's dismay, going on a romantic walk in the park did require venturing outside.

I thought was never going to hear the end of it. However, she was quite beautiful in the moonlight and I had no trouble blocking out her voice. So, I marched on with full intentions to make this day "The Day".

The stars were bright that night, smiling down upon us.

"Beautiful." I whispered.

Piper smiled. "Oh, I know! I bought it just last week down at Flourish and Blots."

"What?"

"My dress that I have been talking to you about for the past ten minutes! Did you not just say it was beautiful?"

"Oh, yes…I did. But the stars are quite beautiful as well." I smiled and turned to her.

"What so great about stars?" She said as she checked her makeup in her mirror.

"They are the only natural light the world gives us at night. A pure light in a world so dark. Don't you think that is fascinating?"

"Why on Earth would that be fascinating? We get light from lamps and fire." She laughed. "You're so silly sometimes. Where on Earth did you come up with that idea anyway?"

I felt my heart grow heavy. "Cissa…" I whispered her name for the first time in six years.

"What was that?"

I cleared my throat. "I can't recall, darling."

Piper rolled her eyes. "Honestly, Lucius. You're acting very odd." She sighed. "And where is that gift you spoke of?"

I felt my stomach clench. "I…I wanted to ask you a question first."

"What now?"

"Do you love me?"

She rolled her eyes again. "What a silly question, Lucius. Honestly, what is wrong with you?"

I looked away from her. "Nothing. I'm afraid I misplaced your gift. You will receive it at a later date."

Suddenly, Piper stood. "Forget it! I don't want it! Call me when you are acting normal!"

I sat and watched her storm away, too conflicted to care.

I looked up at the stars again. And I realized how dark my life had been those past six years and how much I lost.

I once told Cissa that she was the brightest light in my life. And as I sat there on that bench I began to wonder if she was shining her light on someone else.

As I sat on that bench, I heard voices. A familiar voice.

How I wish, dear reader; that I had not looked back. Oh, how I wish I had just kept my eyes on the stars. But I didn't.

I looked back and found my question answered.

My light had been stolen.

**-Sorry for the late update! I hope you all liked this chapter. :) Thanks to NimbusCentaur and LuciusNarcissa for reviewing! Please share your feedback, I might update faster ;)- **


	14. The Piano Notes: Proud

_Sometimes you just need to be told how special you are._

"Who is he?!" I paced back and forth in front of Severus. Who the hell was he? Was he her betrothed? Lover? Friend? Crush? Family? There was no end to my suspicions.

Severus sighed. "Why do you care, Lucius? I mean, you've moved on. Why can't she?"

"I…That is beside the point! Now answer the damn question, Severus!" I could feel red creeping up my face, I had to know.

Running his hands through his hair, Severus grumbled.

"Sit, you're making me nervous." He motioned to a chair and began pouring drinks.

I sat moodily, waiting in agony for an answer.

"His name is Alexander McCarthy. He's of pureblood and part of a very wealthy family. From what I understand, he is courting her." Severus took a sip of his brandy and handed me my glass.

I downed the drink in one gulp. "Courting her..." I almost whimpered as those words left my mouth.

"Indeed." His words were practically dripping with distain.

I used to think that Cissa no longer had an effect on my life; that I had wiped her completely from my mind, heart, and soul. Oh, how wrong I was.

"Is she happy?" My voice had lost its conviction, I felt like I was going to be sick.

Severus rolled his eyes. "Honestly, Lucius. How am I supposed to know? I thought you knew Narcissa better than this." He began to pour another drink.

"How do you mean?"

He glared at me over his glass. "Trying to read Narcissa is like trying to read a book with no words. You of all people should know that." He leaned back in his chair, crossing his legs. "She won't let anyone in; that woman is made of ice as far as I am concerned."

"Can't you use occlumeny?" I felt a hand slap the top of my head.

"Who do you think taught me? Honestly, Lucius! If you keep this stupidity up then I might as well leave!" Severus was always famous for that short temper of his.

"For Merlin's sake!" He continued. "If you want to know about the inner workings of Narcissa Black then why don't you ask the damned witch herself?!"

"I can't talk to her!"

"Why the bloody hell not?!"

I stood, knocking my brandy to the floor. "Because she hates me! Who could ever love such a beast?!" I screamed the words at him, trying to communicate my pain. "That's all I am, Severus…" I whispered. "I'm a monster."

Severus placed a hand on my back. "You're not a beast, Lucius…" He paused. "But you're not a saint either. You have your good points and bad, but you have a heart and you love Cissa. That much is clear." He chuckled. "You just have to make her see the good in you, make her remember why she loved you."

"But how?" I groaned. "She won't even see me…"

He shrugged. "You'll think of something."

I tried for weeks, racking my brains for something. For some idea. But nothing. I was out of luck. All hope seemed to be lost. Until a stroke of genius hit me.

I was walking down a ministry corridor, heading home when I heard a sweet melody floating down the hall. I hadn't heard a more beautiful voice. I began walking towards the sound, drawing closer and closer.

Suddenly, I found myself standing in front of the office of none other than Cygnus Black. The door was creaked open just enough so I could see Narcissa seated at the piano.

I don't know how long I stood there, just listening to her sing and play. It was as if I was under a spell, unable to move, unable to breathe, and completely happy about all of it.

"That is quite enough, Narcissa." A deep, strong voice sounded from across the room.

"Cygnus." I growled.

"I don't know why you waste your time with such petty past times, Narcissa."

I could hear the clank of glasses ad he prepared to pour a drink. He continued. "Honestly, Bellatrix was never this way."

My eyes were focused on Narcissa. She sat there, unmoving, unreadable. She looked like a perfect sculpture, forever carved in stone and void of all humanness.

"I'm sorry to have displeased you, Papa." A false happy tone rose from her lips, there was nothing there.

Cygnus grunted. "Save your apologies, Narcissa. I have no use for them."

"Yes, Papa."

"Honestly, girl. Don't you have more intelligent comments?"

"Do you want me to speak my mind?"

"If you so should possess one."

She said nothing.

Cygnus sighed, irritably. "You were always a disappointment, Narcissa. The last disappointment. I hope you know that."

"Yes, Papa." Her voice was quiet.

Cygnus grunted. "Come, it's late and your mother should be expecting us."

With one last glance at the piano, Narcissa passed from my view and followed her father out of his office.

It was then when the idea hit me.

I checked to make sure they had truly left. The coast was clear.

Quickly, I walked over to Cygnus' desk and grabbed parchment and a quill. I began to write.

_Dearest Flower,_

_I am so proud to see how much you have blossomed, even in this winter. No matter what has happened, no matter how cold the air has become, you have stayed. However, I fear the frost has reached you. I fear that you are turning cold. Do not despair; do not let the frost of this winter reach your heart. For even winter has beauty. Think of snow, how it shines on the ground. Think of Christmas, happy families together. Keep your heart warm, and make you smile true. And know I believe in you and I will always be here, little flower, to bring spring and warm your heart. Look for my letters in this piano, I love hearing you play. I await your reply._

_Forever yours and never disappointed_

I truly did think about signing it. I truly did…But I could not let her know it was me, not yet. I had to prove I was not a monster.

-Thanks to MarinaNM, NimbusCentaur, and ModernHippie999 for reviewing! You're the reason I'm still writing! Please, let me know what you think :)


	15. The Piano Notes: You Again

_Words, in my not so humble opinion, are our most exhaustible use of magic; capable of both inflicting pain and remedying it. _

**August 1 1977 Narcissa**

_Dear Stranger,_

_I would like to thank you for your kind words. They truly made me feel, for lack of a better word, happy. I haven't felt happy in a long time. Your letter made me feel special, like I'm actually worth something. But why am I so special to you? It's as if you know me. Do you? Why didn't you come and say such things in person? Why did you say them at all? So many questions are running through my mind right now. However, you don't have to answer them. _

_I feel that this letter is nothing compared to the beautiful words you wrote me. I'm afraid this letter will disappoint you, for that I am sorry. I am not very open about such things; sometimes I even forget I feel anything other than the constant beating of my heart. However, you have awakened such feelings in me I thought I would never feel again. This does not mean I will discuss them with you. I prefer to keep such things to myself. Also, I must ask you not to think me love struck or fool hearted. I am grateful and happy but that is all. I hope this letter is worth your time._

_ Thank you again,_

_Narcissa Persephone Black_

**August 3 1977 Lucius**

_Do not fret, the letter was well worth my time, anything from you is. As for your questions, I will not answer them. Not yet. I will have to wait for the right time. I am ecstatic that you have decided to continue playing. I think it is good for you maybe it will help melt some of that ice. On the subject of your letter, I would like you to be less guarded with me. _

_I am your friend, you can trust me. I know trust is hard to come by this day in age but I can assure you, have no fear. I am here to help. Open up to me, Narcissa. Tell me about yourself, your passions, ambitions, your dreams, your desires. Do not be afraid to feel. I promise I won't let anything hurt you again. _

_Awaiting your reply,_

_Stranger_

**August 6 1977**

_Where to begin? Well, I have a passion for books. I love to read. It allows me to pretend I'm somewhere else, that I'm something else. I would give anything to sail away on a ship to some place new, away from everything. I know that is impossible and completely unrealistic but I do dare to dream. I dream an awful lot, actually. _

_Something about being a completely different person, in a completely different place sounds completely…appealing. Sometimes I feel I have become nothing, just a cold piece of marble. Do you ever feel like that, dear Stranger? I bet you don't, you seem far too sensible for that. I don't know why I'm so cold. I mean, I never used to be._

_Something happened, after that I have never been the same. Maybe this is why I'm so cold now. Maybe I'm afraid of being hurt again, of hurting someone again. I guess I've been so busy trying to suppress my hurt I suppressed everything else as well. Things just seem so easy when you feel nothing. _

_There are no worries. In many ways it is preferable but there is emptiness, and it eats you away. But you have changed that and I feel better. I hope you are doing well and I await your reply._

_Until the next,_

_Narcissa Persephone Black_

**June 8 1977 Lucius**

_You are getting better. I think you are not as guarded and cold as you'd like to think you are, Narcissa. You are reserved yes, but not cold. Your heart beats ever so strongly, your sprit pours through the keys as you play your bittersweet songs. You are not just black and white; you are all of the greys in between. _

_Tell me more, Narcissa. Your mind is beautiful._

_Yours,_

_Stranger_

**June 10 1977 Narcissa**

_Today I saw a family walking through the park, each parent taking hold if one of their little one's hands as they discussed the warm weather and blue skies. They made me smile. I hope to have a family like that one day, to have a little one to look at me with as much love as the child in the park did her parents. _

_I adore children; did you know that about me? Well, now you do. I adore their innocence and imagination. In many ways, I prefer their company to adults. I remember you asked me about my ambitions. Well, I can safely say that I aspire to be a mother. _

_We all have so much love to give and I feel that children are one of the only being able accept love from anyone or anything, regardless. _

_All a child wants is to be loved and nurtured and I would be more than happy to give all of the love I have to a little one. _

_I hope you are well,_

_Narcissa Black_

**August 12 1977 Lucius**

_I adore children as well. Although, I don't know how to act around them. They are so fragile. I must confess that nurturing is not one of my strong suits. _

_I know you will be an excellent mother someday, Narcissa. I can already see it now._

_Write soon,_

_Your Stranger_

**August 14 1977 Narcissa**

_I grow weary of the summer. I miss the cool air and snow of winter or the bright colored trees and sweet smell of fresh air in the fall. Summer is nothing but humid, dank air, filled with bugs and all sorts of nasty. So, I stay inside to avoid the heat but that means I am with my father who is another sort of nasty. There seems there is no escape sometimes. However, all is well. My sister plans to visit soon. I do miss her but she has changed. I don't quite know what to do with her now. Well, enough of my complaining. I have read many new books and perfected two new songs on the piano. I can't wait to play them for you. I hope you are well._

_Yours,_

_Narcissa_

_Ps: Tell me more about you. _

**August 16 1977 Lucius**

_Some more about me? Well, I am an excellent business man. I have successfully made an enterprise and it seems to be going quite well. However, I suppose you want something more interesting than that. I am much like you, Narcissa. I love to read as well and take joy in fine arts like music and painting. I also like the quite of fall and winter compared to the chirping and buzzing of summer and spring. I love the snow, the quite beauty and peace it offers. It reminds me of you, actually. _

_I do hope your sister behaves and you find some escape. _

_Forever yours,_

_Stranger_

**August 18 1977 Narcissa**

_Much to my dismay, my sister did not behave herself. She blew a hole in our dining room floor. However, my father's rage at her outburst gave me time to explore the house. In such time I found an abandoned potions room which is now my escape. It's cold but not dark down here and I have been able to decorate it to my liking. Druella comes back this week. How is your business? Tell me more of your life._

_Awaiting your reply,_

_Narcissa_

**August 20 1977 Lucius**

_I have been promoted to a new position which is very exciting. However, I get much less free time and people always want to talk. I prefer the solitude of my old work but my father wants me to continue in this new position. I haven't had the time to read anything new, any suggestions? Tell me more of Druella._

_Forever yours,_

_Stranger_

**August 22 1977 Narcissa**

_That is wonderful! Though I wish you were more happy about the situation. I would recommend the Lord of the Rings series. It was written by a Half-blood writer, JRR Tolkien is his name. It is a wonderful fantasy story. A perfect way to escape. To answer your question, Druella is my step mother. A very interesting woman, a very sad woman. She loves a man who will always love another. My real mother was a blood traitor, a Potter. _

_My father had fallen head over heels in love with her. However, he was betrothed to Druella instead. But he broke pureblood law and continued to see my mother. After my mother gave birth to me, my father turned to his friend for guidance. _

_However, his friend told the secret to my grandparents. My mother was never seen again. My father has told me over and over again how much I look like her but her spits the words out. I understand that it hurts him. He has lost so much. His best friend and his love. I can forgive him for his cruel ways. _

_Druella has never liked me. I suspect it's because I'm a constant reminder. A constant reminder that she will never have all of my father's love. That she will never be my mother. Druella is in love with a man who loves another and I feel so sorry for her. _

_I hope this wasn't too much. Please write soon._

_Cissa_

**August 24 1977 Lucius**

_I quite enjoyed that story actually. I admire your power to forgive, Cissa. Can I call you that? I have the urge to. Business is well, busy but well. My family is coming to town. I hope my French has improved, last time I could barely understand them. This weather is atrocious…I hope you are not suffering as I am. I cannot wait for this basted heat to be done with. Play me a new song will you?_

_Your Stranger_

**August 26 1977 Narcissa**

_Of course you can call me Cissa. I prefer it. I cannot tell you how much I enjoy talking to you. You make me so happy. I can't explain it. It feels like I have known you my whole life. I have composed you a song. I hope you enjoy it. Did you ever get to read those books I suggested? I do hope so. I fear you work too hard. No, I am not suffering in this weather, though it hurts me to hear that you are. I wish I could help. Though, I can't do much through letters. Do you think we will ever meet? _

_I hope so,_

_Cissa_

**August 28 1977 Lucius **

_We will meet some day, Narcissa. Someday, when you are ready. To answer your question, yes I have read them. They were wonderful. I would like to let you know that you make me happy as well. Every time I open another one of your letters, my heart stops. I am so glad to hear you feel the same way. As for your song, it was wonderful. I could not have wished for better. Never stop playing piano. Ever. _

_I am happy to tell you that I am no longer suffering after moving offices. I enjoy the cool, solitude of this place much better than my previous quarters. The stars are beautiful tonight, as I write this. So bright. I wonder if you are looking at them like I am. At the exact same time we could be staring at the same stars. It makes me smile to think that I can share that with you. _

_Love, _

_Stranger_

**August 30 1977****Narcissa**

_ Dearest Stranger,_

_I could not ignore how you signed your last letter. Do you really man it or is it just empty words? I want to know. Nay, I need to know. Because, for what it is worth, I think I might have to sign my letters the same. You have made me feel so happy and I hope I have done the same for you. Please let me know that these feelings are real that they are mutual. Please._

_I await your reply._

_Love, Cissa_

**September 1 1977 Lucius**

_I mean it. I would have not written it if I did not mean it. And I can assure you that the feelings are mutual. You make me just as happy as you say I make you. I love you and I mean it. These letters are what hold me together. They are what keep me going, make me smile. These letters have become my life. You have become my life. _

_ However, after all of this being said, I still cannot see you. We need more time. More of this bliss. Just give me some more time of this before I reveal this. Just give me a year. Just one year and then we will meet. _

_Loving you always,_

_Stranger_

**September 3 1977 Narcissa**

_ One year it is. No later than that. For we face a complication, I am being courted. My father is pushing this marriage and I fear that it is only a matter of time before I am taken. One year is all I can afford. I want to ask why we even have to wait but I know you won't tell me. _

_Please stay true to your promise._

_Love, _

_Cissa_

**September 5 1977 Lucius**

_ I promise._

_ I promise._

_ I promise._

_ I promise._

_ Nothing will take you away from me but yourself._

_ Forever yours and always loving,_

_ Stranger._

-Well! This was extra-long! I hope you guys like. I worked really hard on it! They are going to communicate like this for a little while longer but it will also flash into life as well!

Very special thanks to these **SUPERMEGAAWESOMEFOXEYHOT **peoples who reviewed!

ModernHippie999 ANNND NimbusCentuar

Also thanks to the peoples who just read the story!

**TTFN and PLEASE REVIEW!-**


	16. Sharp Tongued Rregrets

_It's hard to remain civil when you expect one thing and get the opposite_**.**

**One year later**

_Dear Stranger, _

_Time's up. I am sure that you are fully aware of the ball being held at the Ministry tonight. Be there and look for the girl with the white dress. I will be sitting at the piano, playing your favorite song, our song. I will be waiting for you. _

_Forever yours,_

_Cissa_

Now, I will come back to you, dear reader. Have you missed me? Of course you did. This is the part when The Great and All Powerful Lucius Malfoy begins to panic. This year had been a year of pure bliss. I had my Narcissa back and that made life wonderful. I didn't want to lose that…I couldn't lose that, not again.

I paced about my office, holding tight to my letter. Having sent word to Severus, I was trying to decide how exactly to handle the situation. Luckily, Severus arrived before I started pulling my hair out.

"Severus! Thank merlin, you're here!" I pawed at his sleeve, practically begging him to sit down. "You have to help me! Something terrible has happened…I don't know what to do…my year's up…She…She…Oh, God she wants to…Oh, shit…Lots of shit, Severus, lots of shit."

He raised a skeptical eye-brow. "Lucius, have you been drinking?"

"No!" I said a bit too defensively.

His eye-brows rose higher.

"Well…Yes but that…That's not the point!"

"Well, then get to it. I grow weary of your babbling."

I gulped. "Cissa wants to meet me…"

"Well, I don't see why that is a problem. She's forgiven you."

"She doesn't know it's me…"

Severus paused. "What?"

"I…I wrote her letters…And she's in love with me…But she doesn't know it's me…"

He sighed and stood, pouring himself a generous amount of brandy. Downing the glass, he spoke. "Lots of shit was an understatement, Lucius…" He set down the glass and took the bottle back to his seat. Taking a sip he looked back to me, "Well, you can't back out now. You promised." Suddenly, he began to chuckle.

My eyes narrowed. "What's so funny?" I growled.

"What is it with you? Always making promises you can't keep."

I didn't know it then, but he had just pointed out one of my biggest character flaws.

I took a deep breath. "Okay…I'll do it…but if tonight goes all wrong, I'm blaming you."

He rolled his eyes. " I look forward to it." As he made his way towards the door, he turned to me once more. This time his face was grave and serious. "Lucius…I know this will be hard for you, but don't do anything stupid."

Again, another character flaw brought to light.

[%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%]

I couldn't stop my hands from shaking. I was terrified. What if she rejected me? This was my last chance, my very last chance. I reached for the door knob but retracted my hand. I couldn't do it.

I slowly began to walk away until Severus' voice popped into my head. "What is it with you? Always making promises you can't keep."

"No." I whispered. I would keep my promise, I could give myself that at least.

I pushed the doors opened, revealing a grand ball room. I began to scan the crowds, listening for her honey sweet voice. I saw a flash of white and a beautiful chord sound from in front of me. That was when I heard her. Our song.

"_Hold me close and hold me fast_

_This magic spell you cast _

_This is la vie en rose_

_When you kiss me heaven sighs_

_And though I close my eyes_

_I see la vie en rose_

_When you press me to your heart_

_I'm in a world apart_

_A world where roses bloom_

_And when you speak_

_Angels sing from above _

_And everyday words seem to turn into love songs_

_So give your heart and soul to me _

_And life will always be la vie en rose."_

She was so beautiful, siting there at the piano, her honey tones ringing across the ballroom, making their way into my heart.

In that moment I knew things were going to work themselves out. We were meant to be together. Maybe they wouldn't work tonight but someday she would be mine and I would be hers and everything would be as it should. In that moment I was comforted and ready to face her.

I don't even remember walking towards her, I couldn't feel the floor on my feet. It was like I was floating. Finally I had reached my destination. I tapped her on her shoulder.

I heard her breath catch as she turned around to face me.

"Stra-Lucius?" Her eyes became dark and clouded, I felt my stomach sink.

"Hello." I said. My voice was surprisingly clam, I even managed a smile.

"As much as I would love to talk to you, Master Malfoy, I am waiting for someone."

I blinked. She didn't make the connection. She doesn't believe it's me.

I sat on the piano bench next to her, playing it cool, and putting on my Malfoy face.

"But who is this someone, Narcissa?" I plucked the rose from her hair.

"No one of your concern, put that back if you please." She scolded lightly, I had not yet broke her resolve. She was too much of a lady to lose her temper, but she was quite sharp of tongue.

"Ahhh, a man I see. Do tell me about him." I leaned back. I knew I was being an ass…But it's what I do best. Again, another character flaw.

She smirked. "Let's just say he is not the type of man you would associate with. He is the best of men."

"What are you implying, Miss. Black?"

"I am implying, Master Malfoy that you are the worst of men."

I felt my lip curl. "Ahhhh, but you see, I am here and he is not. Let that be a judge of character for this "Perfect Man"."

She paused. "I must ask you to leave, please."

"I'm afraid I must deny your request. I must meet this man, maybe he can teach me."

She sniffed. "I think not. Please go."

"So stubborn, Narcissa. Honestly, I'm worried your man might be disappointed."

"Please leave."

"Have a heart Narcissa, I just got here."

She turned to face me. "Do not speak of what you do not know. You know nothing of hearts, Lucius Malfoy, nothing but the art of breaking them. I will ask you once more to leave me in peace."

I felt my temper rise. "When did you become so cold , Narcissa?"

She stood and faced me. "Do not speak to me of cold. You, Lucius Malfoy are nothing more than a suit and a pocket book, both easy to forget and easy to replace."

Her words stung and I felt my resolve break. Clearing my throat, I stood as well. "That's my cue…Well, goodnight."

I saw her eyes soften but I did not look back.

[%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%]

I sulked in my office, for Merlin only knows how long. It was late and I decided to go home. But as I walked through the hall, I came across the old piano room.

"One more time…" I whispered.

To my surprise, there was a little note already on the piano. I felt my heart both break and mend as I read.

_Dear Stranger,_

_Why didn't you come? I have had the most terrible night…I was waiting for you, expecting to see someone I love and trust but met the enemy instead. However, I was cruel, and I'm never cruel. No matter what he has done, that man did not deserve what I said to him. Do you ever have those moments? Those moments when you say exactly what you want to say at exactly the moment you want to say it? I do. Though it may seem like a gift, it is actually a curse. I feel horrible now, for this man was once a great friend. I wish I could see you. I wish I could see the other man too. Did you simply forget about me? You don't seem like the kind of person who would do that. _

_Please explain,_

_Narcissa_

-Sorry for taking so long! Been busy! I hope all of you had a wonderful Holiday!

Special thanks to these rockin' Rudolph's, ModernHippie999, MarinaNM, ANNNNNND (another upgrade XD) NimbusCentaur! It really does mean a lot to me!

Thanks to those who just read the story as well!

TTFN Broskis!-


	17. A Busy Day

It is always so simple, and so complicated to accept and apology.

-Michael Chabon

I sat in my office, my head in my hand, thinking, and thinking, as I had done for the past four weeks. But no decision came_. "It was a dream, Lucius; nothing more. It's time to move on." _That was a thought…A very tempting thought but I couldn't seem to make it into a decision. There was a knock at my door. Finally Severus had arrived…I needed someone to talk to.

"Sev-Oh…Hello, Piper." The fates had cursed me again.

"Well? Are you ready?" She snipped, her nose stuffed in the air.

"For…?" I sat back in my chair; her very presence seemed to drain me.

Letting out a frustrated sigh, she continued. "Our party! The most important social event of the season!" She began pacing the room.

I sighed. "I don't think I can make it, love."

She spun around, her hair slapping me in the face. "What do you mean you can't make it?"

"I just can't, love…Why don't we do something on our own? Just the two of us?"

"That's absurd! Since when did you become such a ninny, Lucius?"

I opened my mouth to speak but she continued.

"Honestly, I don't know what has gotten into you!"

I tried again.

"I haven't spoken to you in months!"

And again.

"What on Earth happened to you? The Dark Lord will not be pleased!"

"Piper..."

"What!"

I took a deep breath. "I think you should leave."

She was, for once, silent.

I continued. "It…It's just not going to work out…"

Complete and utter rage filled her violet eyes. She grabbed her cloak, whispering venomously. "You will rue this day, Lucius Malfoy…" And she was gone, for the time being.

What a day this had turned out to be.

I looked up to see Severus, as always his arrival was most opportune.

"You rang?" he said.

"She didn't make the connection. She didn't believe it was me…I don't know what to do, Severus."

He grunted. "Lucius grow up and take some damn initiative. Go to her house, break the bloody door down and talk to the woman. Quit making an arse of yourself, and just be the little romantic puff I know you can be." Roughly, he slapped my back. "Don't call me back here again. I'm busy for fucks sake!"

I don't know what it was but, for some strange reason, the made everything clear. I wasn't going to give up. Not today, not ever. This was quite the busy day.

[%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%%]

It was with courage and half a glass of fire whiskey in my system, which I marched up to Black Manor. Flowers in place of a sword, and no armor to protect me. I was wearing my heart on my sleeve, a very vulnerable knight in battle.

Praying that Narcissa's parents were absent, I knocked on the door.

To my surprise, Narcissa herself answered the door.

"Lucius...This isn't a good time."

Without waiting for invitation, I walked in. "Where are your house elves?"

She sighed and shut the door. "Druella fired them all, said they were disobedient." She paused. "You should go…"

I turned to face her, she looked nervous. I had a feeling that her statement was halfhearted.

I cleared my throat. "I brought you flowers…As an apology, for last night."

Her face softened. "Oh…Lucius…" She paused. "Thank you." A true, yet small, smile crossed her face.

She took the small, white bouquet from my hand, our hands brushing briefly. "I'll have to put these in some water."

As I followed her, I took in my surroundings. The house was dark, and cold. The windows were adorned with heavy drapes in a deep shade of blue, the walls a medium grey, No light shone in this place.

Cissa lead me down some steps and into a medium sized room. I instantly recognized it to be her sanctuary. The walls were a light periwinkle blue, with hand painted pictures of trees and nature, all snow scenes. Shelves upon shelves were filled with books.

This room was everything Cissa was. Cold, yet inviting, clean and put together, well stylized and almost emotionless...Tiny subtle hints of feeling were spread about. A letter here or there from a mysterious 'Stranger' tucked away in a small corner of the room, well hidden and well controlled. Romance books neatly hidden beneath others. Smiling pictures of her sisters, a childhood toy sitting on a chair. Tiny glimpses of her heart, shining through.

She placed the flowers on her desk.

"How are you and Piper?" She didn't face me but continued to stare at the flowers.

"We broke up." I stated, not even caring.

"That's too bad, you two were so perfect for each other." Her words had a harsh sting to them. She turned to face me, a hand covering her mouth. "I don't mean to say things like that…" She sat in a chair close to one of the book shelves. "No matter what you've done to me you don't deserve this…nobody deserves to be subject of an ancient grudge._"_ Sighing, she sat down across from me.

I cleared my throat. "You know…What I do…The Death Eaters I mean…There is nothing personal in it…It's just a job…What I mean to say is, it wasn't personal what happened with Andromeda…Just business."

She leaned back in her chair, her eyes resting on a picture of her sisters. "Why are people always saying that? All that means is that it wasn't personal to you. But it was personal to me, Lucius…It is personal to a lot of people. This is more than a simple job." She sighed and turned back to face me. "Why are you here?" her eye brows knit together as she tried to fathom.

I smiled, a true smile not filled with charm but filled with meaning. "Because I wanted to be your friend."

She looked down, embarrassed. "Oh…" She muttered.

I continued. "I knew it was- is- a lot to hope for but I just wanted to…To try and give back what I took from you."

"It's not too much to hope for." She whispered the words, as if a part of her didn't want to say them.

"Cissa?" She looked back at me as her name left my lips. I continued. "Can we at least try?"

Her blue eyes seemed to lighten as she smiled.

That day I saw a little bit of her wall tumble as her light began to shine through.

-Well! Things are starting to get better, eh? Hope 'yall had a fantastic New Years! It might take me a bit longer to update now that school's up again. Foo :P.

**Thanks to these supermegaawesomefoxeyhot people!**

**MarinaNM-** They'll be together soon….Ish! Haha XD

**SusansAmazin-** I FIND your comment very amusing and it made me shmile : )

**ModernHippie999-** Poor Lucius, Indeed!

**NimbusCentaur- **Heehee...Jelly tots XD.

Also thanks to the people who just read : ).

**TTFN!**


	18. Be My Honey Pie: END OF PART TWO

_Be my honey pie_

_Never say goodbye_

_If you don't love me I will die_

_So be my honey pie_

_-Honey pie _

_By The Weepies _

Do you ever miss something so badly that even the thought of remembering hurts your very soul? Have you ever lost something, something that had been your whole life? That certain feeling when every time you breathe your breath is wasted because your heart had stopped beating a long time ago. I feel this every time I look at that forever empty side of the bed.

Now, dear reader I am not starting this piece of the story like this out of self-pity, nor am I looking for some sort of closure. I am writing this to help you, to tell you that when you feel that pain, when you feel like you can't get out of bed, when it is Monday and there is no possible way for anyone to consult you; you must remember that you didn't just lose something, you had something. It is never about what you lost, but what you had, and what you will always have.

Even though it is painful, you need the pain. If the pain wasn't there, that thing you lost meant nothing, and you are letting go. It's important to have the pain, for that pain is a reminder that you loved something. Drown yourself in memories, because that is all you have. Even though it is painful for me to remember, even though I know that she is lost. I take comfort that I had something to lose. What I am trying to say, dear reader; is that we always lose the things we have but those things will never truly be lost.

This chapter is not only about how Cissa and I came to be together but how we are still together, and how true love will endure forever, and for always.

_*Months Later*_

I had not stopped seeing Cissa since that day. I would "bump" into her every chance I got. Our talks lasted for hours and hours on end. She smiled and laughed more that she had in years, and I did the same. The feeling was magical, something I could only experience when I was in her presence. I had not a care in the world. This was love. I loved, love, her so much that I couldn't and still can't bare it. But I needed more. I needed her to love me back.

It was time, time for me to come out in the open, time for Stranger's identity to be reviled. And I knew just how to do it. I knew she loved Stranger, but would she love Lucius as well? This plan would show me the truth, it was my last chance.

_Dear Cissa,_

_I feel that it is time. Meet me today under the willow tree in Riverdale Park three o'clock sharp. _

_All my love,_

_Stranger._

I carried the letter with me, as I saw Cissa trot down the pathway of Black Manor.

She smiled and nodded her head, gracefully. I could feel my stomach clench.

"Good morning!" She beamed, happily.

I began to pick up speed and swept her into my arms. "Good morning, indeed." I smiled, looking into her eyes. "I trust your parents are…"

Her eyes smiled up into mine. "Absent and will be for the rest of this evening."

"Wonderful!" I twirled her around, enjoying every second of the time we had together. "Oh, your owl was carrying this. It's addressed to you." My hands shook as I handed her the letter.

Her eyes grew wide, as she smiled from ear to ear. Things were going well.

"Good news?" I asked.

"The best." She replied, clutching the letter in her hand.

"Well, come along. I have a busy day planned for us."

Time flew by when I was with Cissa, even though the world felt like it had stopped turning. I knew my life would never be complete without her. As three o'clock came ever closer, my nerves set in, as the ever possible rejection loomed over me.

We slowly walked up the path to Black Manor, the trees shading us from the wind's intense roar. I took a deep breath and began.

"Cissa?"

"Hm?"

"Say, I was a different man. Say I had a different name, a different profession. Say I never made that mistake. What do you think would've happened?" I paused.

She stared at me, studying my features. "Lucius…"

I continued, moving in closer to her. "I think I know…I would've asked you to dance with me, and maybe asked you to go for a walk once or twice, I would've asked you to sing and play piano for me, to smile your little simile…For as long as we both shall live."

I moved in closer, until our lips were almost touching.

But she pulled away.

Horror and confusion filled her eyes. "Lucius…I can't…I…I just can't."

I watched her run back into the manor, and sighed. She couldn't love just me…But she had to love Stranger.

*3:00*

I could hear her soft footsteps crunch on the leaves behind me. I pulled my hood tighter around my face. _"This is the last chance, Lucius. If she doesn't love you now, it's over. Move on."_

I could feel her presence behind me.

Her hand lightly touched my shoulder.

"Stranger?" She whispered.

I took a deep breath, and lowered my hood.

Her blue eyes widened, as her soft hand touched my face, checking the reality of the situation.

Realization hit her as she began to smile, tears running down her face.

"Don't cry, Narcissa…Don't cry."

She shook her head, tears falling onto my glove as I caressed her face, and pulled her close to me.

I heard her whisper softly into my ear. "I wanted it to be you…I wanted it to be you so badly."

**END OF PART TWO**

**-**I am SOOOOO sorry that it took me this long to update…Meh. Busy, busy, me! Again, SORRY!

**THANKS TO THESE SUPERMEGAAWESOMEFOXYHOT PEOPLE FOR REVIEWING :) **

**ModernHippie999- **XD baby steps.

**NimbusCentaur-** Sorry it took me so long to update!

**MarianaNM- **So glad you liked the chapter!

**Thanks to the people who took the time to read, even if you didn't review : ).**


	19. The Unloved Child

_Nothing is more precious than the love a parent possesses for their child._

At that moment, as our lips met, I was completely, and utterly happy. The universe had pulled together, the planets were aligned. Everything was perfect. So, naturally, something went wrong.

"How dare you? You worthless girl!"

With a sharp intake of breath, we turned around to face our enemies; Druella and Cygnus Black.

"What were you thinking?! Do you want us in ruins, Narcissa?!" Druella's shrill shrieks filled the room. It seemed, at the time that the fates were completely against Narcissa and me; like the universe was constantly pulling us apart, torturing its children of the world. Little did I know that this was not the work of the universe; there was someone else behind the scenes, some other puppet master at work. However, dear reader, that will all come to light later in this story.

"Our greatest competitor and you are out there, flouncing about! The absolute nerve of you, girl! I knew you were daft but this…This is beyond even your level of stupidity! FOR MERLINS SAKE, CYGNUS, SAY SOMETHING!"

The elder Black turned to face us, and I must admit, he was a terrifying presence. His dark eyes, void of all emotion except pain, and anger, his insanity well hidden but still visible in the smallest of ways. A subdued, more threatening version of Bellatrix.

"What do you want with the girl, Master Lucius?" His eyes leveled with mine, willing me to look down, to lose my resolve. I would not.

"I lov-"

He waved me off. "Don't even, Lucius Malfoy. I know how your mind works, the mind of a Malfoy. Cold, quick, and cruel. There is no love within your heart. I know for a fact that you are thinking the exact same thing I am right now."

I cleared my throat. "What might that be, Sir?"

He smiled, a wicked smile and ignored my question. "Mr. McCarthy has offered us a handsome amount for Narcissa. More than she is worth, I should say. But this is not about her worth, this is about how much I want." His cold eyes darted over the pair of us. "And how much I am willing to pay."

He began to pace the room. "I do not deny, the merging of the Malfoy and Black houses would be a most magnificent union, indeed. A Pure-Blood match made by Salazar himself. It would be wonderful publicity for our family." Picking up a glass of brandy, he faced us again. "However, we are not on the most cordial of terms these days. So…I will cut you a deal. How much are you willing to pay, Master Malfoy?"

"Anything."

His lips curled into a smiling snarl. "Wonderful. One million pounds will be transferred into my account by tomorrow morning and you can take this burden off of me."

I was shocked, he was letting us go. "One million pounds? You'll just give her away…" I said.

He scoffed. "She's no star. Remember, the money first thing tomorrow morning. Now, off you go, Narcissa can collect her things tomorrow. I want her out of this house as soon as possible. Druella, do show them out."

I held my breath as we were escorted down the dark corridors.

He had let us go, with nothing but a fine, just a fine of money and a promise of power. I couldn't believe how lucky we were, how easy he had let us off. But the truth was that he hadn't, he had done one of the cruelest things he could have.

He sold his child. Gave her away , for money and for power, to a man he had deemed heartless. Without fight, he let her go with that cruel smirk on his face.

"_You are worth nothing more than a million pounds and handsome title. You are nothing precious, child." _That was what he was saying, the worst thing you could ever say to your child.

Druella led us to the door, and I stepped through the threshold. But Narcissa stayed behind, and faced Druella.

"I.." Her voice was barely above a whisper. "I would have been so proud to call you my mother. If only you had let me try."

Druella stood there, her mouth opening and closing, like a fish out of water, searching for something to say.

She gave up, and slammed the door in our faces.

I felt Cissa grasp my hand, as she closed her eyes and took a deep breath.

"Are you alright, darling?"

"Mmm…Mhm." She smiled her sad little smile. "Just saying goodbye. I've got a new family now."

We turned around, never looking back, facing our future.


	20. Daddy Issues

"_O'hana" means family. "Family" means nobody gets left behind._

_-Lilo and Stitch _

As Cygnus had requested, I gathered Cissa's belongings promptly. It was a long and tiring process. Druella hung over me, never leaving my side, a constant looming shadow. They wanted ever essence of Narcissa gone from that house. By the time the process was done, you have never known Narcissa had lived there. It was almost like a sucking poison from a wound to them. I think, or I like to think rather, that they saw it that way. I like to think that it pained them, that this was just as hard for them as it was for Cissa. But one can never be sure.

Whether it was painful or not, when it was over, it was over.

As the elves loaded the last of Cissa's belongings, I explored the dark mansion. There was nothing much to see really, it was a typical pureblood house. Cold and dark, just like its owners.

Proud pictures glared at me as I walked through the halls. I paid them no mind, and continued to walk on until I stumbled upon the room I really wanted to see.

Libraries have always been a fascination of mine. It's my personal opinion that a person's essence can be entirely conveyed by what kind of books they keep. For a lot of writing, says exactly what we want to say without the risk of you actually saying it.

From the looks of the Blacks library, they were exactly the type of people I thought they were. Their shelves were stacked to the ceiling with age old Pure-Blood history books.

Though it was particularly well stocked library, there was nothing worth wile. I was about to give up on my search until something caught my eye.

A small book, well hidden behind a few others, shone a bright pale blue in the sunlight. In small gold writing the title _"Cinderella"_ was engraved on the spine.

Curious, I picked the book up. From the looks of the print, the book was muggle. A curious thing to find in a library like this. As I began to thumb through, a small piece of paper hit the floor.

A happy couple, smiled up at me. The dark haired man's eyes glittered, as the snow fell and his arms wrapped around the woman. The woman who looked exactly like my Cissa. I felt the gears in my brain slowly turn.

Quickly, I turned the photo over. It read as follows.

_My Dear One,_

_A special present for our little one. Our little girl, I might add. Hoping to have many more happy days with you._

_Forever yours,_

_Cecilia _

"A typical Malfoy….Always snooping…" A slurred voice sneered from behind me.

I spun around and faced Cygnus.

He continued, speaking. "That was the same place your father found that book, you know. The day he told….He…He…" Silent sobs wracked his body.

He shot up quickly, glaring at me. "You must think I'm a horrible person, Malfoy! ME! I never did anything wrong…And that Abraxas…He betrayed me." He took a swig from his glass. "Do you know what it was like raising, Narcissa! Having her here as a constant reminder of her mother! How could I never forget Cecilia when she stared at me every day? HOW? TELL ME, MALFOY! HOW?"

I stood, frozen in place. What was happening?

"I wanted revenge on your father…I wanted it so badly. But it came! And I didn't even have to do anything. All I had to do was wait. Wait until he lost. And he did. And he ran…Just like I ran from Narcissa. He ran from you, he finally paid for what he did to me…"

I gulped, trying to keep my composure. "He did not run."

Cygnus chuckled, darkly. "As soon as your mother died your father couldn't stand to be around you. You constant reminder of what he lost. And he ran away, leaving you to work for the ministry. Leaving poor, little Lucius all alone. Didn't he?" He began to circle me. "Didn't he!"

I suppose I should explain that part of this story now. As soon as I was out of Hogwarts, my father left England. I woke up one day, and he was gone. I got letters from him every once and a while, but nothing with too much detail. Every time I tried to find him, he had already move on to another place, gone without a trace. He never even bothered to say goodbye. I tend to forget that part of this story, for it's one of my more painful memories.

In fact, Cissa was the only person I ever told that to. Well, until now. Aren't you lucky?

Anyways, back to the story.

I looked into Cygnus' eyes. I saw a mixture of hate, and anger, all of those emotions just drowning in black pools of sorrow. Sorrow for what he lost, for what he never had, and what he was losing today.

I finally found my voice. "Yes. He did."

I swept past Cygnus, not looking back. That was the last time I saw the inside of Black Manor.

I shut the door behind me as I entered my study, desperately trying to compose myself before Cissa saw me. Leaning my head against the door frame, I took in a deep breath.

The door opened slightly as Cissa entered the room.

I sighed. "I thought I locked that door…"

She chuckled softly. "You did, dear." I felt her tuck a piece of hair behind my ear. "However, I have the strange ability to use a wand."

"Mmm. Of course. How could I forget?" I answered gruffly.

A gentle hand rubbed my back. "Was is too terrible?"

"No."

"I'll take that as a yes then." She smiled softly. "It's behind us now."

I wrapped an arm around her shoulders. "How did you cope, Narcissa? I was only with them for a few hours and they've already put me in state. You spent years in that mad house."

"I taught myself how to pity, and how to forgive the wrongs of others. But to be completely honest." I felt her head lean on my shoulder. "Most of the time…I didn't cope at all."

We stood there for a while. Supporting each other.

"Master Lucius?" An elf peaked around the door.

"What?" I snapped.

The elf gulped. "I is just wanting to tells Master Lucius that Master Abraxas is being here, Sir. Should I be letting him in?"

I felt Narcissa grip my hand as I struggled for an answer.

-Special thankies to NimbusCentuar and ShadiwAbsol13 for their reviews!-


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